pops up
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
hotmommy
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
moopymoplady
Canada
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
perenoel
France
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Santa
Canada
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Loola
France
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
HOe HOe HOe
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
lonewolf2701
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML
tishihish
United States
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
unknown
Canada
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Top comments
phatdaddy62 23
Welcome to the "North Pole!"
koala7_fml 2
Merry Christmas!
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Comments (256)
Freeze_fml 17
If you're old enough to know what an erection is you probably shouldn't be sitting on Santa.
dannyfont 5
My thoughts exactly. Op sounds too old for santa's lap. I call fake
elmatador615 12
True that #31
Isoldael 27
Don't worry, santa only comes once a year, and that's down a chimney :p (sorry, I know that one's old)
mrbattleman 10
take it as a compliment, you're obviously sexy
DelilahV 0
Jesus! If I took it as a compliment every time I gave Santa a boner...
spazz666 18
Or ugly as dirt with a great body and trampy clothing. Just another side of the spectrum for you to consider.
laxmtl28 6
ur hair is too sick!!! you r BEAUTIFULL
FYLDeep 26
Reminds me of back in nineteen hundred and ninety-five when I, as a wee lad, sat on Santa's lap. Unfortunately, that was the year Jerry Sandusky was Santa.
cBlackout 13
... Just.. no.
FYLDeep 26
That's what I said. He didn't listen.
cBlackout 13
Bad santa :)
angelflightmode 1
I know you can wear a sock over an erection, but that must've been the worst Christmas present from Santa:/
spazz666 18
Hahahahaha I see what you did there. STOCKING STUFFER!
mushyman 0
I guess he wants a present... From you
PinkFun1969 9
"Santa is that your cell phone in your pocket or you just happy to see me." That's just wrong. I want some green bubble gum. BAD
lulu56falcons 0
Your very very old haha
xSorry_fml 10
Someones been a good girl this year.
cheesezebra 4
If you're old enough to know what an erection is, you're too old sit on Santa's lap.