Today, I rolled my ankle, got pink eye, and have the flu. Unable to stand long enough to cook myself a meal, I opted for delivery. When I opened the door for the delivery boy, he backed away frantically with his arms up upon seeing me. Apparently, I look just as shitty as I feel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML
Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML
Today, I finally felt better after having the flu for two weeks. I decided to do some much-needed cleaning that I hadn't been able to do while sick. I tripped over my rug and broke my ankle. FML
Today, I woke up after being sick from the flu and tried to get out of bed. I forgot I was in a bunk bed and broke my ankle in the fall down. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML
Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
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Top comments
sempisaviour 17
Seriously? Did that delivery boy think you were going to kill him? FYL, and **** anyone who said YDI.
feven 32
He probably didn't want to catch whatever you had. But wow, the flu and pink eye? You must be miserable.. Good luck.
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Comments (37)
RodzillaX 30
That is pretty rough. It's only temporary though. You'll be back at it in no time!
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, **** me sideways and call me Betty. That is pretty terrible, and would result in any normal human curling into a sentient ball of misery on the floor and contemplating "accidentally" falling onto a kitchen knife. Get some medicine and vitamin C, and get TONS of rest, and you will recover soon.
AdamToddBrown 2
Yeah. I'm sure that happened.
cjl922 17
Call Doctor Dre
cpol304 12
That sucks op hope you get better soon.
Goku_vs_Superman 17
You sound like you belong on the walking dead
delichick 27
First, I doubt it was as bad as you say it was, youre sick, and overly sensitive. Second if the delivery did that, it was unprofessional. Mind you, I also work with the public and would freak if someone came into my work with the flu and pink eye..I cant afford time off and am akready dealing with an undiagnosed chronic condition since last summer. Feel better soon
dannidoll93 24
It isn't all about you, darling.
Kitouran 30
Totally agreeing with #29. It isn't about you. Also, way to add the feel better thing so you didn't sound like a complete asshole, but I've dealt with a sprained ankle and the flu before (not at the same time along with pink eye, yikes), and I can tell you that OP's lucky they can muster up the strength to get to the front door. And by the way, delivery people don't work in the same environment as office dwellers, and are expected to deal with customers who are less than presentable. That means OP could have showed up wearing nothing but cream cheese on their nethers and a tin foil hat, and the delivery guy should have ignored it and done his job.
ThePaperDragon 31
At least your ankle is just rolled and not broken like the OP a post above you.
Medcanyon 10
Sounds like you were in zombie mode
embarass 14
No tip for him