Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ithildyn 5
I never imagined "emergency rapping" would be a skill one would need to keep safe in life.... I stand corrected.
ironwords 8
Still better then Kesha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
Ithildyn 5
I never imagined "emergency rapping" would be a skill one would need to keep safe in life.... I stand corrected.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Wow, he had you rap while taking a dump...in a public toilet... Um... why the hell is some guy in another stall trying to make you rap with him as you take a dump??? Drunk or not... that's creepy.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Ok, I don't know how I managed to post this 2x, but here it is. Damn error page. Fml is worse on my computer than on my iPhone and cell phone apps...
leogirl95 12
18- Crazy shit happens when you are drunk. Just watch The Hangover.
skyeyez9 25
OP can put emergency rapping on his resume now.
MizzErikaHart 8
Op was scared shitless
Jonkbaby 23
shit in his toilet
Pentium_4 27
judging by some of the bathrooms i've seen, the FML could have just been "Today, i had to take a dump in a public restroom, FML"
beebeeL 1
What the **** lmfao
theten_fml 9
Don't worry about it OP that's how most rappers start out... Being forced to rap while on the throne.
Jonkbaby 23
applause.gif mod, applause.gif
buck33 14
56 - that's my favorite song!
nic7973 23
ditto!
Pixxio_O 11
That, my friend, was bonding:')
Jonkbaby 23
applause.gif mod, applause.gif
RiseAlone 5
Just another day at the office...
ironwords 8
Still better then Kesha
reesey0809 0
Anything is better than that dirty lookin chick
yankfan89 27
Not true I think Justin Bieber Miley Cyrus and Kesha are all tied for the worst "performers" ever
banman12321 6
How was rebecca black not included. Seriously?
LiveLaughFML 10
Ke$ha is just a drunk version of Taylor Swift.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well #25, I would bash Rebecca, but then I felt sorry for her once people sent death threats to her. That's a bit too far...
THE_A_TEEN 28
I still hate "friday" though.
Pentium_4 27
i haven't listened to Friday, i'm too scared of having my IQ cut in half
downtime 13
57, But half of 0 is still 0. You're in the clear! I really didn't mean that...my inner sarcastic jerk took over.
Pentium_4 27
no offense taken
downtime 13
BFFs? *squeal* Seriously though, I don't understand the hate on Kesha. Shes no different to any other pop singer these days. The girl needs to stop singing about getting drunk and ******* things though, get a hobby or something jeez woman.
Incogneterpeter 1
39 don't feel bad for her she has had a few concerts apparently
banman12321 6
#37 I have never even considered sending death threats to her. Just suicide notes.
KiddNYC1O 22
than*
KissMyButtocks 6
That awkward moment when… ahhh **** it
danni218 1
that's y u dnt take a dump in public bathrooms...
steviesnm 6
72- You're totally right. I think it's pretty obvious that you're supposed to shit in your pants.
kittySplash 0
Yah but this is funny as ever
perdix 31
I hope you didn't have to reenact the video with him. I've never seen it, but I imagine your project would involve blumpkins.
Waffl3z 8
I demand to see lyrics !
SecretMe00 5
I agree! Lyrics! Lyrics! Lyrics!!!!
silentbutfunny 0
Whos got weiner breath? You! Got wiener breath, Cause you be sucking on ding-a-ling, Sucking on ding-a-ling, Slob on the nob like corn on the cob, Sucking on ding-a-ling!!! All of memory.
silentbutfunny 0
Idk if thats the true song, but it was in a very funny forward my cousin sent me
maskedman 9
The "slob on my knob like corn on the cob" part is correct. I think it goes: Slob on my knob like corn on the cob Then get with me and do your job.
Real_Talk21 1
slob on my knob, like corn on the cob. check in with me, and do yo job. lay in the bed, and give me head. don't have to ask, don't have to beg...
jonriise18 3
Juicy is my name, sex is my game. Let's call the boys, let's run a train. Squeeze on ma nuts, lick on ma butt.......... That's as far as I can remember.
Shafreeka 8
The natural curly hair, please don't touch. Real name rover, I said bend over... I can't remember...
The_SkyCantLimit 5
C-C-C-Combo Breaker. (;
Zoh_Aubrey 8
...I started to knock, then came the odor. Smelled like mush, shoulda have a shush. I told her to stop and take a douche (dush) :3
jhb33 4
Once she did that I didn't want the cat So I bounced out And never came back
reesey0809 0
Well I think even my grandma could rap to that beat
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
Your grandma sounds like a boss.
Zedscar 34
The thought of my Grandmother (or yours!) doing that scares me.
thisisafunnyname 12
Shit just got real
TunechiXXL 0
When keeping it real, goes wrong..... Bitch I keeps it REAL
Shafreeka 8
I love The Chappelle Show haha
TunechiXXL 0
Chappelle's show was hilarious, just like Nick Cannon, he's hilarious!
bri5083 9
You do unspeakable things under pressure.
Trainwizard 1
You shouldve replied..."You're drunk and mean, your poop is green, I oughta punch you in the jeans." :-P
braidiedanielle 1
Love that song
jmashini 13
That's a song?
tennisrapper1 14
He brought out your inner talent. You should thank him and be proud of yourself!