Today, I skipped out on my grandmother's 70th birthday party. I'm autistic, and I have a hearing disorder that significantly enhances my hearing to a painful extent, so I couldn't tolerate how noisy it was. Now, my grandmother thinks I hate her because I put my mental health first. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
Today, I spent all day cleaning for my grandparents to come over, only for my grandfather and father to interrupt me, talk over me, and treat me like I'd done something wrong. I'm autistic and was infodumping. They know this. FML
Today, I've realized how badly my social anxiety disorder has affected my ability to bond with relatives. I sat in silent regret as I listened to cousins and aunts relate fond memories of our recently departed grandma during family dinner. It hurts to know I'll never have another chance with grandma. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML
Today, my mother told me that I "should have never had children" after I sided with my son when he yelled at her for talking too loudly. I have hyperacusis, and my son has sensory deprivation disorder. My mom knows this, and blames it on her friends who are hard of hearing. Nothing is ever her fault. FML
Today, I found out that I was not invited to my grandma's 80th surprise birthday party. I found out about it from my mom who lives out of state. I’m the only immediate family that would've been able to come. Due to coronavirus, I also missed my grandpa's 80th birthday. Guess I’m 2/2 this year. FML
Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML
Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
Sad, no matter how you look at it. Either OP has such an extreme case of autism they cannot tolerate grandmothers party or they just don’t want to stress themselves. Either way is understandable, but I can see how your absence might be misinterpreted. I assume Grandma is already aware of OP’s autism and what that means. So she should be able to understand why they might skip the party. Talk to her and wish her happy birthday and tell her you wish you could be at the party.
historygrad74 19
Did you explain to her why you were missing her birthday party?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (11)
Aurora25 29
im also autistic, but i would do anything for my grandma
Chazzster 32
Sad, no matter how you look at it. Either OP has such an extreme case of autism they cannot tolerate grandmothers party or they just don’t want to stress themselves. Either way is understandable, but I can see how your absence might be misinterpreted. I assume Grandma is already aware of OP’s autism and what that means. So she should be able to understand why they might skip the party. Talk to her and wish her happy birthday and tell her you wish you could be at the party.
historygrad74 19
Did you explain to her why you were missing her birthday party?
RichardPencil 32
Maybe not hate, but she's right about her not being a priority for you. Hopefully, she's not too close to death and you can get your shit together to weasel your way back into her will.
hopejm 5
I would think your mom or dad would have explained the situation to her...
core01 30
I have serious distress at parties too. Instead of simply skipping, I set up a day before or after to celebrate with them. It makes my family members feel loved and appreciated, while allowing me to avoid situations that make me feel overwhelmed and drained. Or you can skip entirely, but don't expect them to give you their time/money when you won't do the same for them
RichardPencil 32
Or.... Alcohol ;)
Advance 57
You can tell her you think she hates you because she puts her selfishness first.
sarsuela 29
Have you tried sound-blocking ear buds? They make ones looking like accessories - these should suit well at parties.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Get some ear plugs or ear muffs for occasions like this. They can really help, also go visit gma and bring her something special.
lizardlover95 7
maybe just take her out to a quiet lunch instead and if she doesn't already know explain to her why it was difficult for you. a good family member should understand