TheLoneSoul
France
Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Billy
United States
Have a Kitkat
Today, my wife came back from a three-day moms' retreat, and was mad I didn't immediately want to spend time with her. She called me 68 times (yes, I counted) while she was gone, so it was really like she never left. FML
svsksosnns
Olympia, United States
Now what?
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Anonymous
United States
Pleased to see you too
Today, my wife, who I haven’t seen for over a month because we both travel a lot for work, got home. The last thing she said to me was that she couldn't wait to get home because she just wants some alone time. FML
Unhappily Ever After
Littleton, United States
Like the deserts miss the rain
Today, my wife of 18 years and I went to a party. We arrived and left separately, and didn't even talk to one another while there. I miss her. FML
scumbag
United States
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Bobert
Romania
Oh well…
Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML
that one anon
San Diego, United States
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Anonymous
United States
My favorite boy
Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML
an unlucky man
Simi Valley, United States
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Anonymous
Hamburg, Germany
You fool
Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML
Top comments
Paras_800 27
We need a follow up on this op.
Cads1 24
So what exactly does your wife do other than another man/woman?
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Comments (89)
SmittyJA24 26
You say this like it's a bad thing; I wish my wife would leave... 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 years, I'll take what I can get!
Algorithm 24
You say this like it's a normal thing. If this is true, you need marriage counseling.
Grimmerie 31
This is such a common joke and it's actually very concerning. There's a very pervasive attitude of marriage being restricting and horrible and honestly why would you get married if this is how you feel about it?
snowflake2410 3
That is confusing af. Totally follow up on this. :P
Sathane 21
I hate long meetings.
worldclassrager 41
I am a little confused on this...
jackycat 17
I watched a documentary once about a man who went into this thing called a fugue state and just wandered off. Started a new life under another name and all kinds of stuff. One day years later he snapped out of it and called his wife confused why he was in another state. He had no memories of the years he'd spent away. This is and kidnapped/held against her will in oppressive regime she was spying (as spy or journalist) on are the only valid explanations that don't lead to an immediate divorce.
MandieL 27
Maybe she had to go into witness protection
earlytermination 34
Benjamin Kyle?
One_Way 43
I can't think of a reason that she would go into witness protection and her immediate family (i.e. husband) would not. Unless OP wrote this from jail...
jackycat 17
Immediate family probably goes into protection too, because normally the family is also a target. I have no idea on Benjamin Kyle. This was ten plus years ago that I watched it. Tried to look it up but all I found were more recent cases, women, wrong country, or Agatha Christie.
janfleury 19
This is so sad.
inolongercare 19
Was it a boating trip? Was it on the SS Minor? I heard they had a tragic accident when the weather started getting rough.
herecomestheboom 21
You mean the S.S. Minnow?
Colon_Man 17
I heard about that. The tiny ship was tossed.
TriggerDays 15
I need a serious case of backstory.
thecowgoesmo_o 2
what? how did you not know? what's been going on in those three years..
christopherwilli 14
Well what did she say?