Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I was messaging a new friend when she mentioned her dad was cooking dinner that night. I jokingly texted, “Oh no! I’m sorry!” Turns out her dad is a professional chef. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
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Top comments
awkwardloveannie 28
she let him make food for you guys knowing this? that's so unsanitary
Sweet_Meli 11
I just lost my appetite, that's seriously one of the grossest FMLs I've read yet.
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Comments (86)
awkwardloveannie 28
she let him make food for you guys knowing this? that's so unsanitary
Soniye 14
Agreed, it's so disgusting ! And I wish I didn't have the image stuck in my mind >.
xBethanyC 15
c'mon guys.. Extra protein!
kumarina 35
Even if she thought it was a joke, this is so disgusting
michaelaranda 28
how is eating toe nail clippings an extra source of protein?
nina739 10
thats gross in so many levels
Sweet_Meli 11
I just lost my appetite, that's seriously one of the grossest FMLs I've read yet.
Sweet_Meli 11
Ew no, lol. Andddd I just lost my appetite for a second time haha
Gothicbunnyx3 16
Have you read the one where this girls date used her hair to floss his teeth?
deOrca 8
...And the one where a dentist's snot fell into the OP's mouth?
skyttlz 32
What about the one when OP and his girlfriends lip rings got stuck together and she threw up
ylirne 9
I guess you could say the food is made of toes, spice, and everything nice
miianah1 22
Or the one where a girl but her boyfriends neck and pus from his pimple squirted into her mouth.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There's a new one where a guy vomits regurgitated sushi into his date's mouth. Yeah. I don't normally have a problem with my stomach while reading these, but that FML definitely made me queasy.
Dallasluver19 14
That's disgusting.
sweetbliss3 37
even if he does do it in the kitchen how did it end up in the food, unless he clips while he cooks. regardless, that's nasty.
jameen 11
I think I just threw up a little
sweetbliss3 37
I understand that, but I have done my nails in the kitchen before and I've never ended up with nails or anything of the sort in my food. weird
sweetbliss3 37
I understand that, but I have done my nails in the kitchen before and I've never ended up with nails or anything of the sort in my food. weird
michaelaranda 28
probably not a good idea to clip you toenails in a kitchen, regardless of the circumstances
sweetbliss3 37
I always vacuum and clean up after so that doesn't happen.
King_paradox 22
That's. Not. Ok.
Dracoboxer357 36
....and shit like this is why I'm Always polite and charming to the waitress. That trip from the Kitchen to your table isn't exactly video monitored every step of the way. :p Ick.
harryisangry 6
Eating at their house is a real "nail biter" ah? Ah? Yes? No? Okay
iiTzNeeNerz 26
How's that for added flavor. In all seriousness, that's nasty.
LanceGoodthrust 19
A little toe spice makes everything nice.
Rainhawk94 27
Well. Last time you eat over there. Invite your friend over and after she has soup or something say watch out my mom has a habit of putting rat poison in soup
ImAFaker 29
Then put laxatives in the soup and say "You expected rat poison? **** you."
michaelaranda 28
why would she drink the soup in the first place?
HarleyBlues 24
Well she did warn you...
jdeezy01 13
I was thinking the same thing. She received a fair warning.