Playaaa
Hollister, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
xsnqw
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Rosie
Wesel, Germany 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
morethanredhands
🌶️ Spicy
Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML
Danny
Dublin, Ireland 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Bluetooth Connection
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
IsThisRealLife
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Read the room
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
DearLord
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Top comments
JHPugh 19
Absent-minded actions are sometimes pretty embarrassing.
mattzawesome 28
Not uncommon lots of absent minded men do it, me included. #1 not weird at all.
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Comments (100)
Adeptus_Astartes 22
I do the same thing... we're weird aren't we :(
Tripartita 45
Don't worry; there's an app that can help. On second thought, maybe a book would be better for you…
JHPugh 19
Absent-minded actions are sometimes pretty embarrassing.
pjsr 33
Gives new meaning to the term 'Phone sex'
mattzawesome 28
Not uncommon lots of absent minded men do it, me included. #1 not weird at all.
Catdragon 40
I play with my boobs
mollybelle 13
Yeah, I absent-mindedly play with my boobs a lot. It happens in public or in front of friends sometimes and once I realize it I get so embarrassed. u_u
9a_1z 12
Boobs aren't like penises though, the female equivalent is to have a good old dig around your lady bits. Sometimes I have to play with my boobs to get crumbs out/off them (then I'm like ooo soft), it's not the saaaame.
danceinconverse 25
It's not weird, but it's definitely not a good thing to do.
teentee401 37
I do those things to absentmindedly but I manage to not do them when I'm on the phone in public...
Ichiya 29
Sometimes us guys just have to take the risk of looking weird. Things move around down there and we have to adjust things.
teentee401 37
But he wasn't adjusting...he was playing with himself...
Robin612 22
#15 I do that all the time. I'm trying to get rid of the habit but I just start doing it randomly in front of strangers.
amileah13 26
Better be careful.... You can get into some serious trouble for doing so in public.
mattzawesome 28
It's not like he's jacking off... Or having sex. I highly doubt he'll be incarcerated.
SecundusSecunda 27
With the amount of sensitivity that's flowing through some people in the US right now, I wouldn't be surprised if OP would've gotten arrested
bonermonkey 31
tis a good point, can you imagine if there were kids around? just not cool be careful
militarybrat 21
Doesnt matter. Its still against the law in most states.
amileah13 26
If he is shown groping himself in public and if there are any children around, his whole life will turn upside down in an instant. He will have to register as a sex offender and the excuse of "oh I was just messing with my phone and I guess I touch myself when that happens" ain't going to cut it in court.
rgriff27 19
My theory is if you let a hot girl play with your phone she'll absentmindedly do the same thing.
pete9913 23
do you want to play with my phone?
hotheadslav 17
So smooth
SnowxSakura 17
Real subtle.
CosmicElk 26
#24 im sure a few of us thought of that cheesy line, but actually saying it is another thing. RIP you XD
skymachine 23
Wow. #24 is the smoothest guy I've seen on this site.
pete9913 23
haha wow, everyone is so touchy about a joke. just so we're clear neither she, nor anyone else on here, would really be allowed to play with anything of mine.
prezkal 15
It seems like a bit of a dick move but my brother does it too so don't feel bad.
Scorpio01 16
It is a Dick move... We move the dick...
TheRugMan 17
Bring a hat and set it on the ground. Maybe people will pay for a show.
lexred 30
Do you do that in front of ur family too? well....umm...that's strange of u.
freya1998 23
I do that too! However not in public. Try to control yourself maybe, it can scare people.
ThrottleJockey 36
You play with your penis?
Tripartita 45
She plays with the OP's despite the distance between them. She's an absentminded witch.
Scorpio01 16
U have a penis?????????????
knight2109 12
Welcome to the internet if anything here surprises you then run, you will find much worse if you keep looking.
CuriousYel1ow 13
That's pretty gross, man.