Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
sven25 0
Haaahaha. That is awesome! I hope you threw up!
deaditegirl 0
YDI for stealing lunches. Asshole. Make your own damn lunch, fuckhead.
g00nie 0
YDI make your own sandwiches you lazy bum
renyark209 0
...you douchebag.
brilliantbarbie 0
hahaha That was great!
crazy_cat_lady 0
Nice visual!
n_london 0
"habitually"? i mean, maybe i'd be able to say fyl if you stole someone's lunch once when you didn't have any money or time to get lunch and then they found out, but come on- you do this shit every day? did you actually think he'd never figure it out, you ******* dumbass? YDI x 13289u7398
cloudyface 23
So it's OK to steal someone's lunch as long as you didn't have time to make your own? You're an asshole to
rockmaster 1
there is a special place in hell reserved just for douchebags like you... you just experienced a small taste of it.
ladiidaa 0
So hell tastes like canned dog food, huh?
dakorok 6
HAHA, win.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
That's why all dogs go to heaven.
missbrunettgirl 0
YDI for stealing lunch from someone. Make your own lunch you duche bag!
missbrunettgirl 0
YDI duche bag
visage 0
You're lucky thats all the sandwich had. You'd have about two tablespoons of my DNA if you were ripping mine off...
sadistmonkey 19
how do you know it didn't?
ohnomama 0
My husband suggested ground up glass.
plexico 4
You need to get over this habit or your benefactor will serve you some Chocolate Ex-Lax Chip Cookies.
Starchild21 3
Lol more like a milkshake with Colon Blow :D
RandomAttack 0
A donut with laxatives lol.