Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
crownme 0
you nasty dirty ass poor bitch! go get your own ****** lunch why the **** would you do that YDI !!!!
tehslack 5
YDI, idiot.
gummibehrs 4
You're leaving someone else without food so you're not hungry. You deserve to eat dog food, asshole.
aback 5
I'd have put worse in there than dogfood, and I'd have mixed it with some Dave's Insanity Sauce. I hate thieves.
pentameter 0
I clicked both FYL and YDI because I don't know if you were stealing it because you couldn't afford food or if you were just being a jackass. If it's the first, I'm sorry. If that's the case, explain to your co-worker and apologize... who knows, if you mention it, they might be generous and share.
teh_dude 0
More like **** His Life b/c he wasn't getting to eat his freaking sandwiches, bitch.
infidelboy 0
he has a job! no way he cant afford something cheap to eat at least
boatkicker 5
If someone has a job, then they are able to afford food, because NOTHING comes before food. Two winters ago I lived in a house with no running water, and no heat (in Massachusetts) and for a two week period in january, no electricity. However, I did not go hungry, because if given the option of "take a shower or not-starve" I'd choose not starving. I showered at friends houses, and neighbors. If you go up to someone you know and say "Hey can I use your shower?" a lot of people wont say no. I filled up gallon jugs of water in thier sinks for cooking and washing dishes. I slept with a shit-ton of blankets, and wore my winter coat around the house to keep warm. No excuse for stealing food if you have a job.
CosmicPossum 2
#137, poverty is not a reason to steal. Is he so broke that he will starve to death if he doesn't, and no food bank in town will help him? Does he have no friends who can float him money for ramen and PB&J? Has he exhausted every resource? If so, maybe I can see the occasional theft out of absolute life-or-death necessity, but this guy just sounds like a douche who's too cheap or lazy to feed himself, or thinks bcause he's on a shoestring budget he "deserves" what someone else has. The only thing he deserves is the dog food sandwich and a big YDI.
lolzforfun228 3
YDI for stealing his food, ya freakin moron.
po_ta_to 0
You actually want people to feel sorry for you? You're making a person go hungry every day, and why can't you make your own stupid sandwich yourself? YDI, douche.
Glam_fml 0
Did you really expect to get anything except YDI? I mean, you were stealing someone's property. You are lucky the person didn't put rat poison and/or a strong laxative in it. Asshole.
mannix_fml 0
Do we even have to mention "YDI"? But dude, that is AWESOME. Kudos to the lunch packer.