Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
gothic_cat_lady 0
...and you expected sympathy? YDI for sure, and I almost never assume the person deserved it. And that was an awesome way to get someone to stop stealing their food.
ThatCrazyGirl 0
YDI you schmuck!
Shinzura 0
YDI for being a stupid thief.
itsmelen 0
WTF man? YDI and worse. Hopefully he beat the shit out of you after he saw you in the bathroom vomiting your dog food sandwich.
nixxx90 0
haha that's hilarious. but you're lucky bc you wouldn't get off so easy with me, dick.
awesomeperson 0
Mmmm delicious, delicious...but I believe your forgetting the side of rotting bull ******** tendon, hm? They make it for dogs but I find it quite delectable.
gummibehrs 4
Sounds deliciously nauseating.
fxdxhk90 0
Who clicked fyl for this post?
causeless 0
Was it good?
ayashe 2
The person you were stealing from is funny.
SuperMeme 0
I'm pretty sure it was chilli...
SuperMeme 0
Wait, this IS in reply to someone talking about the South Park where Cartman kills that boy's parents right? This is why comments shouldn't be edited.
AtoZandBeyond 0
You really deserve it. You had it coming anyway
LilaBear 2
F YOUR life?? F THEIR life! That's like saying "oh woe is me, I broke into the shop to steal from their tills but they'd just emptied them that afternoon. FML."