Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (406)
slave_to_misery 0
Yeah you should have gotten a three course meal instead, asshole. You're lucky it was only dog food, I would have poisoned it, and went out to eat.
Teekayahr 0
You're a jerk and you deserve every bite.
sahara_fml 0
Did you really expect anyone to sympathize with you on this one?
rickrolled01 0
YDI, just be thankful that that's all he could think of to put in the sandwich. Next time make your own sandwich bitch!
ElMundio87 0
what the hell is wrong with you? make or buy your own sandwiches, dipshit
NaziZombie 0
Karma is awesome! Ydiysw!!!!
gummibehrs 4
Very true, Plexico. Hopefully he'll throw it up and have to taste again the mystery-meat made out of parts from which animals piss and shit.
dncroy 0
I wonder how it tasted.. Please tell us Hairball, did you just get humiliated or was it actually the taste that forced you to share this FML? Tell the guy who made the sandwich that you saw this guy from the upper floor (etc..) puking in the bathroom for an hour after lunch break, and stay away from those sandwiches starting now!
sublime93 0
What a prick, you're lucky it wasn't shit cause that's what i'da done
XxKate1294xX 0
Seriously...there's no reason. Different situation: some points I forgot my lunch money at school,and because I have friends there, they gave me a salad (one hates veggies, and it came with a sub) and one gave me 50¢ t buy cookies :) there are always options, and you have a job, and money, so there's no reason to make a habit out of stealing.
visage 0
lol, like I said earlier... I'd have mixed in several sources of DNA for him to chew on. Inconsiderate POS's like that deserve to enjoy lunch 2girls1cup style!