Twins

Today, my phone thought my armpit was my face. FML

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML