Today, I was at work for almost two hours today before realizing I had marinara sauce on my face. My coworkers didn’t say anything because I’m really clumsy and they figured it was blood, and therefore not unusual. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML
Today, after a 12-hour shift, I went to a grocery store still in scrubs. Someone asked me for medical advice in the cereal aisle. While explaining I couldn’t diagnose them, I knocked over a display of pasta sauce with my cart. It shattered everywhere. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's rough. Co-workers who think you're so clumsy, you walk around covered in blood, and a cat who wakes you up every morning by jumping on your boobs. Although, if your cat is black, it might explain why you're so clumsy. I hope you follow this up, I'm really invested in your day.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You should have taken it off with your finger and then licked it off to freak them out. :D
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Comments (8)
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's rough. Co-workers who think you're so clumsy, you walk around covered in blood, and a cat who wakes you up every morning by jumping on your boobs. Although, if your cat is black, it might explain why you're so clumsy. I hope you follow this up, I'm really invested in your day.
Susan Yee 9
They think it’s blood? Like on the side of your mouth? That’s not unusual?
zuckerburg 21
doubt it was on the side of her mouth, probably on the forehead somewhere
Charlie Given 28
Go see a neurologist clumsiness almost always has a medical condition behind it
zuckerburg 21
so not are you so self-involved that you don't notice objects around you and claim "I'm clumsy", you also a messy eater because of what I just said? cool
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You should have taken it off with your finger and then licked it off to freak them out. :D