Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
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Top comments
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
could be worse.. could hit him every time he touches you
ComoEsJuan 24
"Why did you break up with your boyfriend?" "He tickled me" seems legit.
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Comments (109)
Rosebyday 5
Mine does to and I also.
Azrael9 11
Kick him next time he does it. It sounds like he has no respect for personal space or is just an immature douche.
carterjanelle 9
We've been learning about classical conditioning in my psychology class...
ChaosBlitz 12
Skinner would be proud.
neftali97 1
Lol I did this to my gf
Likian5 26
It's his fault, so he has to deal with the reprocussions.
boshbish 14
YDI. You shouldve put your foot down way before it got to this point. A polite yet firm "Youre taking it too far." wouldve been all that was needed to get him to lay off.
wiseKat99 13
Eh. My ex verbally and mentally abused me so be happy it's just tickling
mamadoc 4
Survivors of the Holocaust describe seeing prisoners strapped down and tickled with goose feathers by Nazis. If tickling was seen by Nazi sadists as a fun way to torture people, maybe just tickling is not the best way to describe it.
anthony99 14
So how's your sex life?
samy_yo 12
I know how you feel! My boyfriend does the same thing..but now he is unintentionally tickling me every time he touches my sides or stomach