Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Welcome to the 21st century where people are people and there are no "roles".
powderbluetang 11
Damn, they've learned our tricks!
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Comments (201)
iianalove987 7
They meant the head of the penis. :)
RoseCrystal 17
Damn, I could've written this....
KiddNYC1O 22
Hence the double HEADache part.
Lupinus 2
Sucks to suck. You'll probably never suck.
MellieSIU 16
I feel ya! My hubby practically makes me beg for it :( Once I decided that I was sick of always initiating and decided to wait for him to initiate it for once. Three months later I gave up and initiated!!!!!
powderbluetang 11
Wow, he obviously doesn't want it from you.
NullPointer 20
Actually, sex is good for getting rid of headaches. And why is it an fml for a woman to pay for a date and then not get laid? It happens all the time to men, deal with it.
bizarre_ftw 22
To be honest (and not to further a general stereotype but.....[get your thumbs ready, this is either going down or up]) men actually Do have larger hypothalamuses which, among other things, controls sexual desire. Also, men can achieve an orgasmn rather easily for the most part, women on the other hand can tend to have a harder time (I'm happy to say I'm not one of them ^_^ and I'm a virgin, but I'm digressing with gloating) so when women are turned down they loose more it would seem, but yeah, not getting laid for a guy is pretty damn bad too. Also, this is an FML because it's unexpected, unfortunate, and annoying.
uprising_fml 0
I was raised to be religious and I still to this day am unsure what I believe on that matter, but what I do believe is that women ARE equal and are meant to be . and no, I will never take my 'stick out of my ass' because I will always fight for my equality . and there are women who support there families and get the 'bullshit' that comes with it . and men do not get the same sexist shit that women do, that is a fact .
uprising_fml 0
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raphanne_fml 33
So, you expect your boyfriend to pay for your dinner because he is a man, and that's what men are supposed to do? I don't know, but I'm all for gender equality in society. I don't understand gender roles. I don't expect guys to pay for everything. It's really nice if a guy decides to buy me something, but I don't expect them to, and I reciprocate when they do. I don't understand women who want equal rights, and then turn around and have double standards when it's convenient for them. Ok, I'm done ranting :D
troggo64 0
My girlfriend and I share our bills in house and out
Just_Georgie 0
You should NEVER pay and if that were me, the relationship would totally be over by now.
Person1233 13
Can't tell if trolling...
NullPointer 20
Why should you never pay? Someone is stuck in the 1950's.
bizarre_ftw 22
Well of course! Just look at that hair!! Who the **** can manage that anymore?!
Skaw_fml 8
Sorry, but are you the queen of England?