Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML
Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, the medicine I keep at my desk for headaches is now gone thanks to my coworker who took the last 6 Advil at once. Her reasoning? "You're thin, so you wouldn't need them anyway. I'm twice your size, so I needed twice the dose." FML
Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I complained to my parents about chest pains. My mom said, "For fuck’s sake, it’s our day off. Can we just have ONE day without your drama?" Turns out, I was actually having a heart attack. She still won’t apologize, and is in fact mad at me for having a heart attack on her day off. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
**** your life and **** the life of whoever has a heart attack in her presence. "I took your phone away 'cause you don't need a damn ambulance. Now take the pills!"
rivenrock 14
People sometimes take a low dose of aspirin daily to help prevent heart attack. But yeah, obviously it's for headache and other pain, too.
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Comments (14)
_parth 20
Can't fix stupid.
Cali 57
...no matter how much aspirin you throw at it!
Tripartita 45
**** your life and **** the life of whoever has a heart attack in her presence. "I took your phone away 'cause you don't need a damn ambulance. Now take the pills!"
rivenrock 14
People sometimes take a low dose of aspirin daily to help prevent heart attack. But yeah, obviously it's for headache and other pain, too.
OopsieDoopsie 16
It’s such a piss-poor pain killer - you have to take horse doses for it to be effective. By the time it helps with pain, you’ll have an ulcer. So many better options!
Zehir_fml 10
Depends on the strength of the aspirin in question. There are some aspirin types that are designed solely for heart attacks. However, I am assuming that this is simple low-dose aspirin.
Nikki 17
You can take up to 900mg of aspirin for headaches or migraines, you’re given 300mg for a suspected heart attack
Qandol 26
I really hope you won't have heart Attack while she is there, otherwise you'll only get aspirin as the help.
clair_brodie 35
At least they know that much. Some people do not know that.
mekiswrite 21
She's not totally wrong! XD only time I've heard of asprin being used for a heart attack though is when the person having a heart attack is loaded up on other drugs
sousaphonist 14
To be fair, some of Bayer's commercials suggested that as well
Chazzster 32
Both are correct - Aspirin is first aid for a heart attack. And it helps headaches. Because aspirin tends to cause stomach pains if used frequently, most people use Tylenol for headaches. Caffeine also helps headaches.
Shadowvoid 33
Yes, a baby aspirin (81mg) is recommended daily to lower the risk of heart attack, but a regular aspirin (200-250mg) is not the same thing. The baby aspirin is typically prescribed to people as a blood thinner. It makes the blood clot less easily. That's why it is common for older people to have problems with losing too much blood from minor injuries (along with other factors).
niallo 23
You are correct with one addition. If you are having a heart attack you will be given a full dose of aspirin which is 325mg. 81mg is for prevention.