Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Welcome to the 21st century where people are people and there are no "roles".
powderbluetang 11
Damn, they've learned our tricks!
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Comments (201)
IntoTheClouds 42
Wah. Wah. Wah.
ScrivNasty 3
Here's an "FF" Fun Fact. Sex helps relieve headaches, so tell that little poon to man up and satisfy you =P
heartcloud_fml 3
chivalry really is dead.
TheFunnyzach 3
What is this word you call "shiv-el- ree"?
bizarre_ftw 22
Actually chivalry came from one of the "Edward prince of Wales"s, possibly the Black Prince? But don't quote me. Anyway, this prince, or perhaps king at the time, started the order of the garter and produced a code that knights must follow, aka chivalry. The way this came about, according to legend, is said royal dude, whoever he was - I honestly don't remember, was dancing with a woman when her garter fell off. Instead of letting her be humiliated he picked up the garter and placed it on his own leg. So yes, paying for dinner, pulling out chairs, holding doors open, laying your jacket over a puddle, etc.... Is chivalrous. That being said, I personally am corny intolerant so I suggest light if any amounts of chivalry at least with me and only done well without the cornyism that generally follows suit.
bizarre_ftw 22
1) paying for a woman is in fact chivalrous so she doesn't have to spend her money 2) totally agree
TheFunnyzach 3
#184 Hi.
uprising_fml 0
sexism toward men ? please . I deal with sexist assholes every day and I am constantly fighting for women to be respected--men don't get shit . and anyone who wants to contradict me is a self-righteous idiot with impaired vision . we have come a long way, but we are still continuing that fight to be respected . and sure, men may get a sexist crack here or there, but it will never compare to sexist jokes and comments against women .
perdix 31
I believe as far as educational and employment opprtunities go, there should be absolute equality between the sexes. But, sexually, we are still very different. If a man had his sexual advances rejected, he knows to take it well and be a good sport. Reject a woman and she'll get very upset and hate you. I don't know if differences like that will ever disappear, but right now they are very real.
uprising_fml 0
gender roles don't exist any more--so why care ? it's fine if a person doesn't feel like having sex, male or female . and so you paid for dinner; big whoop, I do that for my boyfriend sometimes, we switch on who pays.
uprising_fml 0
yes but that's a stereotype, and that stereotype stems from the general fact that men are usually more sexually aroused and more often than women . but that's not how I work: when my boyfriend wants to have sex, I'm always up for it . everyone's different .
RKD 23
Dang, wish I had a gf like you!
KiddNYC1O 22
Doesn't matter, had sex... Oh, wait...
tucansam555 3
Sex cures headaches...