Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Welcome to the 21st century where people are people and there are no "roles".
powderbluetang 11
Damn, they've learned our tricks!
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Comments (201)
yadisingh 5
Hi.
stacianichole 2
38 - Here's a place where men have to deal with sexism that I GUARANTEE didn't occur to you: child custody. It usually automatically goes to the mother primarily and good luck getting full custody if you're the father. Dad can expect to pay support that hopefully goes to the kid's needs but on more occasions than anyone wants to admit, it goes to Mom's frivolous wants. Nothing Dad can do with out hiring a lawyer and spending tons of money he doesn't have cause it's going in his ex's pocket. Men get screwed when it comes to this, trust me. Women do have the upper hand here.
SirObvious 1
Pretty sure that might give him a boner. Now if you punch him in the sac!
wd_caro 6
the reason men and women aren't treated as equals is because they're not. that's why they have the WNBA (sucks) LPGA (sucks) women's Olympic sports (suck except for figure skating) women have to get used to the fact that they're not men!
wd_caro 6
and by the way; Op, if he's using a headache to get out of sex it's not the headache. he just doesn't want to have sex with you!
ZW31 0
Women need to realize that sexist jokes are just that. Jokes. Society as a whole needs to realize that a joke is joke, you'll know if someone means it. If it's actually a joke you should laugh, even if it offends you( which it shouldn't) you should just brush it off as no big deal. And women are progressing, women have to put up with bullshit as well, but if women and men need to be equal, there can't be any double standards either way. You can't get the best of both worlds and call that equal.
SmittyJA24 26
Dump him & move on, if you'd prefer a conventional relationship. The guy you're with now is a douche bag.
vandyman84 4
This is why you don't date hipsters.
N3766 20
fair role playing game...
vandyman84 4
because heaven is a gay bar, and no straight people are allowed.