Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Welcome to the 21st century where people are people and there are no "roles".
powderbluetang 11
Damn, they've learned our tricks!
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Comments (201)
ingernh 4
I guess you are "the man" in the relatonship;)
FunwithBumperCar 0
Did anyone else picture femdom?
flagg1888 3
Maybe he is just having his man-period? Be supportive
detroitsucks247 3
Why do people keep saying " significant other"?! What does it mean cant they say wife boyfriend girlfriend or husband? Or partner..
llZombiell 5
Is he pmsing as well? Drop the bitch and find a man. Lol I kid. If he's always treating you to things i dont see a problem in treating him to something for once.
NullPointer 20
I agree that "significant other" is weird in this context, as it is a gender-blind term, which is anti-sexist, and then the rest of the post relies on sexism to make any sense.
Darjdayton 0
**** you ****
Cartree 0
83 I believe the correct term is MANSTRATING.
chili10 18
Well then 47 it's not "exactly" the same is it?
paleontologist 8
I don't get what the big deal is. He didn't feel well so he took some medicine and got some rest. Poor you for not being able to **** him even when he's not up for it? Shame on him for not feeling well and indulging your wants despite his condition? I fail to see how your life is ******, when he's the one who has to put up with an entitled asshole of a girlfriend who thinks she's the victim when he's the one hurting. Invest in a *****, and lose the ugly attitude.
Ikickmidgets 11
Grabbing a notepad and writing down lessons from the master...
CryMoreFMLs 15
Proven fact: Sex relieves headaches by releasing endorphins or some shit like that. That "headache" line is bullshit....
paleontologist 8
Yeah except if you have a headache, you generally don't want to be participating in rough activities that may jerk you around and have the potential to aggravate the already painful situation you're in; at least I'd opt to lie down and rest. Sex when you've got a throbbing headache doesn't seem very appealing, plus it can be a difficult task to turn someone on when they're in constant pain. It may help in theory, but when you're feeling like shit it's the last thing on your mind.
Nutty4Muffs 3
Nice to meet you, GeologistBastard. Have you met DocBastard yet, by chance?
BoredReader88 5
Was I the only I've who thought this wad going to be a lesbian FML because OP said "significant other"?
powderbluetang 11
Damn, they've learned our tricks!
soccerguy2 11
No. we just think you deserve to be treated equally.
apv0222 0
Amen to that 37, chicks always complain to be treated the same so now you know how it feels when you do it to us, you deserve it op.
rebekahah 7
Just have him make you a sammich and it'll all be good :)
powderbluetang 11
I personally do not take advantage of guys like that, that comment was for effect. But really if yu think we deserve to be treated the same way, then why should we treat you any different?
chili10 18
^ .. HELP! I think she's trying to make a point, but i'm not quite sure what it is.
Fruit_Dealer 9
When unsure wether men or women are treated equally or not, find a tree, make a hammock and drink piña coladas under the sun instead of arguing.
DocBastard 40
Welcome to the 21st century where people are people and there are no "roles".
coltsrock37 15
Yes ******* YES!!!!! Doc on patrol
SillyFart 7
104- You're comments never make sense :/
Fruit_Dealer 9
Oh 117.. Who messed up the nerves in between your brain and your fingers..?
cptmorgan6 8
Ah, the ol' gender reversal. Most often occurring in relationships with womanly men.
flockz 20
throw a box of tampons at him.
crimsonlover4 31
******* great comment; laughed so hard!
SillyFart 7
******* great tattoo laughed so hard
Fruit_Dealer 9
Flockz come with me I know a good spot to do that. But before, we have to dip the tampons in orange juice, my strongest toxin!
bigbadtim 7
If a guy has a headache then he has one. It is not an excuse not to have sex.
pink_raindrops 26
Even if it is an excuse not to have sex, he's allowed to not want to have sex sometimes. A lot of women think that if a man doesn't want to have sex with them all the time that it has something to do with them when it really doesn't. Maybe he said he had a headache to prevent an argument about why he doesn't want sex.
HomeAl0ne 20
Guys, guys, guys. You need to be much more supportive when a woman doesn't want sex because of a headache. Imagine what that pain must be like! If my wife complains of a headache I'm very concerned and attentive. I go and get one or two Asprin straight away. Then I crush them to powder, sprinkle them on my dick and then ask her if she'd like to swallow them or would prefer them as a suppository. Her headache usually goes away almost immediately.
asktherunes 4
You wish.
G0v3nat0r 7
Headaches aren't even that bad
EvilCupcake8361 9
81: you sir are god
bizarre_ftw 22
108 - obviously you've never had a migraine so, in the politest of ways that I can muster as a person who has suffered from countless red-hot-knife-being-stabbed-into-your-brain migraines, Shut The GODAMN **** Up You Oblivious ********!!
Starv 6
maybe you don't realize, but maybe the guy doesn't want to have sex, he has a headache and wants to sleep.. It is possible! This whole thing does not have to be about sex!
bubbywaldo 0
That means you've never had a bad one. which is awesome for you, but means you might want to work on your compassion. other people can experience things differently I occasionallly get migraines that are so bad I throw up. so now you know!
heathz 9
tell him to get out of bed and make you a sandwich!!
Blacksabbath211 9
Madam, that's not how it works.
TheFunnyzach 3
You make me a sandwich! And while I'm eating it, you can suck my dick!
zombicidal 11
*sammich
saIty 17
31 I can't seem to find it. Please circle it with this red sharpie.
flockz 20
or you could just use the peanut butter and man's best friend to finish the job. you know, so you don't have to waste valuable bread.
heathz 9
haha I love all of ur comments minus the douche who thought he was funny :o)
TheFunnyzach 3
You make a valid point Zombie dude. Now I'm going to say, SEXISM RULES! Everyone thumbs me down!
TheFunnyzach 3
#41 I like Bananas.
EnEl_Infierno 15
That's when you break out your secert stash of PlayGirls and enjoy yourself after he falls asleep Op, admitted ladies we all know you got your little treasure chest hidden, just for an occasion just like this. Just like most guys do. ;)
DoNotEnter 5
Actually..... No.
drawmesunshine 17
70, yep, 'cause you can speak for every woman who may or may not be comfortable enough with their sexuality to have a "treasure chest" of phallic goodies.
Cecco7 5
All the you deserve it are all guys I know it
sinking_fish 12
What the hell just happened?
TheFunnyzach 3
What?
DemiTwilight 4
You know.... I'm not sure either... It literally hurt my brain though