Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year-old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML
Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML
Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML
Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
Mostmen are man-children at heart, it never changes. Accept it and it will make life alot easier.
Sixpakastan 0
Gonna need to see said boobs before I can pass judgement.
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Comments (353)
mr_creosote 0
My 25 year old boyfriend does that too! Only I ask him if he's 12, and if I'm honest, I think it's funny.
COBRAMORPH 0
My god you stupid women. Why do you think we put up with you & are not fags? Now dont open your mouth unless he wants to put his **** in. Or pee on you. #321 is a perfect example of a decent woman.
Ascaryrobot 0
Ahem. I win, she shouldn't have sex you're a tool and boatkicker is amazingly confident. Also, you may post that we spend so long talking on FML but what you need to realise is that A) you too are here and B) what else am I supposed to be doing at 12:48GMT when my mates are at college and Spaced is on my Xbox. I got nothing to do but read your thicko comments and listen to siding with ******. Fun times, I don't get worked up but I like to acknowledge that people in the world are more retarded than I could have believed.
boatkicker 5
"Boatkicker is amazingly confident" Not sure if it was meant as a compliment, insult, or just a general statement, but I'm taking it as a compliment anyways. Thank you. :)
Ascaryrobot 0
It was a compliment, I wouldn't give out any of my locale because there'd be a million people wanting to beat my door down and beat me like a Texan housewife.
boatkicker 5
Well you'll notice I didn't give out my specific address. I get enough strangers walking to my apartment as it is. I don't need any more. It's (not) lovely when neighbors throw parties and call up their (already drunk) friends and say "Yeah come on over. No bother knocking, just walk right in!" and since the friends are drunk they get all confused and walk into mine. I have learned to lock my door after 8:30pm every day.
Ascaryrobot 0
You should just sit in a chair in front of the door as they walk in, pull out a fake gun, shake your head and then motion for them to leave, they'll not be back in a hurry. Or wear a gimp suit and stare till they leave.
ShaydeStar 0
Op...are you honestly offended by a man finding your breasts mesmerizing? Take it as a compliment and stop being so high strung.
Greeksta23 7
Get a sense of humour! your boyfriend is cool if he gets all excited about your boobs then wow he loves them, get over it take it as a compliment.
Notastalker 0
What a punny story! I would've done that too! haha.