Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, I decided to clean my entire apartment. While vacuuming, I sucked up something big. I didn’t realize what it was until later when I couldn’t find my engagement ring. I digged through a vacuum bag full of dust, crumbs, and mystery hair, only to realize it was on my finger the whole time. FML
Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML
Today, in the process of leaning over the sink to close the drain so my diamond earrings wouldn't fall in as I put them on, I dropped my diamond earring down the drain. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
'A diamond in the rough' doesn't even begin to cover this. And all those scene songs about diamonds and pussy now have context, don't they?
QTp13 10
Why would a cat eat diamond earrings?? That does not make any sense, unless of course you starved and depraved your cat of food and water, and he thought to take vengeance :D I dont know I could be wrong
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Comments (88)
Punkguy39 0
wow your a dumbfuck. Oh yeah now im going to feed my cat some 50,000 dollar ear rings! learn to keep them out of reach for a cat dumbass
sentient 10
yeah, these cat FMLs always crack me up. You bought the nasty creature, now deal with the consequences!
kittyprincess319 0
A cat is not a "nasty creature." That's just pathetic to even think that.
stanzskin 0
Your choice of names, "Fellingshitty", was headed down the path to greatness, quite clever indeed. Sadly the cleverness was undone by poor speeling. (see what I did there?)
Moy_fml 6
Just don't eat it like Stifler did.
IronMagnus 0
There are people in this world who can't afford to buy food for their children. **** your diamond earrings.
helen1988 0
She's supposed to feel bad because she can afford nice things? You're what's wrong with this world.
JukeboxBunny 0
#31: You're an idiot.
leisl14 0
yeah, and they could use the money you spent on the computer you're using, and the money you give your internet provider.
Kitty_Gem 0
YDI, if you left them out, then it's your own damn fault! ALWAYS put your earrings away in some sort of earring holder or jewelry box.
AidenGarrett 0
...my moms cat ate her engagement ring and lived...I hate you know it all idiots who are all omg this is fake because blah blah blah. your reasons usually suck and are wrong so stfu and gtfo already.
captainmaharet 1
YDI for "felling."
jmoose311 3
Why are you buying nice things like this anyway, when you just end up losing them? YDI x10