Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML
Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
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Top comments
LadyGore 12
I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment and can be sued for that.
JJBADGE10 7
That sucks sorry OP that your boss is a creeper
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Comments (123)
JJBADGE10 7
That sucks sorry OP that your boss is a creeper
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Hey, I've found if you stick around long enough, the creepy becomes cute and the girls just learn to love ya... Or they get a restraining order. Either way, no sense giving up until you're arrested, sued, or married, right?
perdix 31
Why are you sorry? The OP has a bright future in blackmail.
Marrach 7
29- The future is black...
sens3sfailing 25
He's a creepaa, like a boss.
rhaemese 9
Since I just have to ask, was her name Debra?
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
If it was, I think he's allowed to cry deeply and then shit on her desk among other things. He is the boss, you know.
tjv3 10
Sounds like my boss. He is a dirty old married man.
sens3sfailing 25
90- but he doesn't suck his own dick, that's just not him.
fmlalldamnday 8
The woman he's stalking is a lesbian...
florido_fml 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If shes in a committed relationship with another lesbian why do you care?
RS808 6
Because he's trying to be a good friend/co-worker? Just because he's backing her up, doesn't mean he's trying to get with her too.
Lionesse 15
It's called pointing it out to the creep of the boss so that he knows that she is not available so he can stop his advances. It's not being nosy or anything. Rather It's being a good person or friend.
Llama_Face89 34
Boss is whining to OP about it. Repeatedly it seems. I'd lose my shit, too.
HairyPunisher 27
OP doesn't initially care. He's pointing out that A) the boss doesn't have a chance because his secretary's in a relationship and isn't going to cheat and B) even if she was single, she's gay anyway and wouldn't be interested. That's why OP cares. Sheesh.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Dude that was a stupid ******* question
Akharr01 5
Also because the boss is kinda harassing her. He may have gotten suspended for it but in the long run everyone will be a little happier.
Likian5 26
Re-read the post, then look at how stupid your comment looks.
LadyGore 12
I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment and can be sued for that.
lilhellian 27
It is and she or he (can he?) needs to sue!
desoto96 9
Why does it always come down to a lawsuit?
ArmyxWife 5
Cause for once this FML is coming to a lawsuit. Sexual harassment is not cool
Krajjan 9
44 - Because if challenging everyone that annoys you to brutal gladiatorial combat was legal, lawyers and judges would be paid significantly less and the lobbyists can't have that. So you want something done, you have to do it legally. =/
Rocky007 15
The OP was not harassed, and the secretary likes the free lunches, so no, there is no harassment here.
marrrry 4
3 accidentally gave all their pronouns to 20.
KingCeltic77 18
Some bosses are just unprofessional weirdos and are unfit to lead. Sorry OP.
nop200 3
Why did I read that as the rapist? I think I might need to see a therapist myself.
NeatNit 33
#75 you had a perfect opportunity for a classic FML bad joke by simply removing the "a". I am disappoint.
annie_nk 23
At least he didn't fire you. Maybe you can talk to her to get her to stand up for herself?
BeccaHugs 17
Good for you for standing up for her, a lot of guys wouldn't have the balls to stick it to their boss.
NeatNit 33
Still, it's a YDI. There's a different between calmly telling someone they're wrong and exploding on someone like OP described. The boss may be a terrible person and a terrible boss to his secretary, but suspending OP is something I can't disagree with.
Cbizzlez 10
I would tell his boss or maybe HR or at least get the secretary to threaten to take legal action
RinaVampire31 18
That's ******* ridiculous
rhidiculous 4
Just feel good that you finally let that out...now you won't have to worry about him whining to YOU anymore!
boyElroy 6
Maybe a report to HR would have been a better approach. Usually flipping out on your boss is looked down upon. Also, it's very unprofessional. Not to say his behavior wasn't, but two wrongs, ya know?
RvidxrKlvn 8
Sometimes people just need to be called out honestly.
cr3ativity 15
I'd say human resources in the early stages of this, Private confrontation around the middle to end, and call em out in front of the entire office as a last resort.
X_Codes 11
Yeah, OP kinda deserved to get suspended, but OP's boss kinda deserves to be fired.
tehcyberman 9
I agree 17, but there is a difference between totally flipping shit and calling him out honestly. In OP's case, some serious shit was flipped if he got suspended.