Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
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Top comments
gntfmlingnow 12
Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.
omfg_creepers 8
Nerdgasm?
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Comments (123)
sajupt 17
Random boner? U shud prolly make gud use of it n become a sperm donor!!!
strack94 6
Mario!
cashfast98 0
WTF?!?!?!
anettes 7
hahah oh god,.
ducky570773 14
Or, the room mate plays video games at night and when op hears the music, he knows it's safe to whack it because the room mate is distracted.
curtyman11 9
Your penis is dublin in size
kamigawa120 7
Lol wow. Are you going to place the controller next to ur pelvis?
tatayannmermen 3
RBS??
ma12r 22
Assassin's Creed? I know how ya feel buddy.
toughbananas974 6
Flex any major muscle group for about 30 seconds, and that boner will go away, guaranteed. For example, if sitting, flex your legs as if you're about to stand up and hold it. Works like a charm.