Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
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Top comments
gntfmlingnow 12
Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.
omfg_creepers 8
Nerdgasm?
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Comments (123)
jaredofmo 22
Hello, ladies.
hornyunicorny 2
Wow, you've masturbated so often while your roomie was playing that game that you've classically conditioned yourself to know that video game means you're gonna get some lovin! Psychology is fun!
perdix 31
Are you a gay plumpa humpa and get a boner from any Mario game?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Everyone loves boners!
superswagbro 7
That wood be gross.
phatdaddy62 23
Haven't heard from Bonerz in ages.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I know. Glad someone remembers. I thought he was a hallucination of mine (sheds a tear for Boners)
uumlaut_strohson 3
do you also find the urge to release the hounds while disecting frogs!
fader48080 10
it's cool man. when I started masturbating I did it in the tub to music playing so people wouldn't hear the splashing. The Cardigans song "Lovefoot" was on the radio all the time and while I don't get hard (all the time) I am usually ready to go by the end of the song.
ickythump23 0
Why the hell would you share that with the public?
phatdaddy62 23
Cuz nobody knows who he is. Big deal.
juwood 7
Probably Skyrim.
FML_Master2133 6
My exact thoughts. Too bad you beat me to it. :(
Veratas 9
Why are you jacking off to your roommate playing video games?
Tempest559 12
Sounds like you have a thing for your roommate. Hope he's a light sleeper or at least has a lock on his door.
kennamalik 0
Holy. One, sorry. Two, see a doctor.