Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after deactivating my Facebook page 4 days ago for stalking reasons - as in me stalking my ex - I reactivated it for approximately 3 minutes to see what his status update was, then deactivated it again. I'm just THAT pathetic. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to post a throwback photo of myself in high school on Facebook. I didn't realize I was still logged into my work account. Now all my colleagues and clients have seen my awkward teenage years, complete with braces, pimples, and an unfortunate haircut. FML
Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML
Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the "fake me" got more birthday greetings than the "real me." FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML
Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML
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Top comments
AKskier1 0
fyl. that sucks. what dicks
italiangurrl 8
well...I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss, although I'd rather know who I can and cannot trust. to hell with them. lol
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Comments (138)
milomay 0
Caroline field! right?
Fuutballer 0
... Why the hell would your friends post status updates about YOU? I call bullshit.
MeCabo 0
That's what you get when you add people you don't know
Miss_Blaine 18
Not so secret anymore op, sorry
RAUN 8
At least they wrote about you and you know what they think now.
whoaa123 0
Are you sure it's a secret?
bayliebug 14
Gosh. I'm so sorry OP. Really sucks to find out that your friends weren't really your friends at all. ):
Tressa1982 18
Looks like you need deactivate your friends
__U__S__E__R__ 7
Should've told them that you were back on. And then found new friends.