Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left my car window slightly open while I went shopping. When I returned, I discovered that what I assume to be a mischievous squirrel had got into my car and chewed through the wires in my dashboard, causing extensive damage. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
He was trying to jack your car when he died of a heart attack from the adrenaline rush.
iAmScrubs 19
Put the squirrel in the passenger seat with a seat belt on it. He/she can be the best friend you never had. You can walk it on a leash, have tea parties with it, and cook it dinner. OMG, I'm so excited.
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Comments (102)
stewood 0
why is this fml this Is like a regular thing? /:
kaykay20 0
Just be glad no one stole all your things.
Livinia 11
At least it didn't hijack your car or steal your shit.
genesisnirvana 11
you must have some deadly nuts
BrittanyPernell6 0
Well on a tragic note the little fellow died , or maybe it is playing opossum. Please dispose of it though we wouldn't want your friend to be the cause of a zombie apocalypse.
sheethapins 13
Wow, that's nuts.
Orcina1 3
wow. squirrels die fast
glorialaura21 8
In my opinion, you should be glad you came back to a car at all.
labola26 0
I'm telling you man the squirrels are planning an attack cause one day on the way to the grocery store a squirrel dropped an acorn on my head! 8{
hunterhound 0
dumbass
tamie306 5
At least you weren't robbed