Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I left my car window slightly open while I went shopping. When I returned, I discovered that what I assume to be a mischievous squirrel had got into my car and chewed through the wires in my dashboard, causing extensive damage. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
He was trying to jack your car when he died of a heart attack from the adrenaline rush.
iAmScrubs 19
Put the squirrel in the passenger seat with a seat belt on it. He/she can be the best friend you never had. You can walk it on a leash, have tea parties with it, and cook it dinner. OMG, I'm so excited.
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Comments (102)
dt13_fml 0
mmmmmmm
labola26 0
poor lonely squirrel :(
stlrecruit123 0
I thought this would be a typical stealing fml but the dead squirrel adds a great twist.
momo1972 3
try to car jack you I would guess
Airborn0280 18
Maybe the squirrel was already dead, some where close to the car and some kids thought it would be funny to put a dead squirrel in someones car.
JoeyPterodactyl 0
That was my initial analysis.
FC_Barcelona 0
no
Airborn0280 18
Yes!
Sunny_Eclipse 6
OP, don't feel bad. Hell, I see a new squirrel corpse every week in my neighborhood.
MerrikBarbarian 9
hey it's dinner- and precooked at that! what are you complaining about?
flashback.miss 28
Nooooooo!! Foaaaammmyyy! DX ok jk but still jeez, >>'''
demetrius19 7
THAT NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
labola26 0
why are all nice girls lesbians?
R4P7OR 2
At least it didn't flood