Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left my car window slightly open while I went shopping. When I returned, I discovered that what I assume to be a mischievous squirrel had got into my car and chewed through the wires in my dashboard, causing extensive damage. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
He was trying to jack your car when he died of a heart attack from the adrenaline rush.
iAmScrubs 19
Put the squirrel in the passenger seat with a seat belt on it. He/she can be the best friend you never had. You can walk it on a leash, have tea parties with it, and cook it dinner. OMG, I'm so excited.
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Comments (102)
sporkdef191 0
could have been worse! lol
blondie1208 17
poor squirrel.
koe4 0
his nuts are to die for
JesusFishTaco 5
22-That's almost 10 months away.
OfficeNinja 5
true story. my parents rented a car in Miami FL and drove to Branson Missouri. while the door was open renegade squirrels ran into the car, snatched the keys off the drivers seat, then ran up a tree. the keys were never recovered and Enterprise had to send a replacement car from Saint Louis. your lucky the squirrel was dead!!
labola26 0
bet it's true, and that squirrels can talk too. (obvious sarcasm)
jamjelly386 5
I'd rather find a dead squirrel than have my radio missing
CryMoreFMLs 15
Then I will stockpile MORE!!!
jhull11 0
I find this quite comical lol
JesusFishTaco 5
That's more like it!
christyk26 0
poor squirrel :(