Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML
Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zowieandzander77 1
are you sure you didn't use bathroom cleaner wipes ... facial tissue doesn't have sanitizer in it.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
In this type of situation, you need to immediately crap your pants, take the pants off, and set an eight year old kid on fire. "How would doing these actions help my situation?" you're probably asking. I can't hold your hand every step of the process. Sometimes, you need to figure out the next part of your plan yourselves. By the way, since this is a Tourette's thread, where the hell is KaySL, Sirin, and mercyFML at?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
sk826 0
I wish people thought I had tourettes so I could sat whatever the he'll I wanted to say
pickles1994 18
that's a totally different type of disease... I saw it on southpark... some type of other tourrets
tobabo101 0
you sir, are a pig.
canzonetta 16
Just having tourettes doesn't give you the right or freedom to say and do everything you want. Worse: you then don't have that freedom either from your environment or from your own mind. If anyone thinks they would like to have tourette, they can have mine. Very welcome.
krismir29 0
as if that's bad enough?? that's not bad bro. tissues are way nicer haha
kittie44 0
Wow like using tissue paper makes you're life bad try actually having to live with touretts syndrome you have no idea how hard it is I was diagnosed with it when I was 12 and I'm 21 now....
m3gazord 2
Having Tourettes is not an FML, I'm not ashamed of having Tourettes it's part of who I am. I'm sick of people frowning upon those who have it. We are normal people and we aren't less intelligent or weird. It's not appreciated to be someone else's FML.
Pugs_not_drugs 9
sorry but i'm a little ignorant, is tourettes uncontrolable vocal tics or am i thinking of something else?
blink_kid 32
You're right, it is, but also physical tics too.
FWMYKIGI1990 12
At least you didn't use Puffs plus Vicks.