Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML
Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zowieandzander77 1
are you sure you didn't use bathroom cleaner wipes ... facial tissue doesn't have sanitizer in it.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
In this type of situation, you need to immediately crap your pants, take the pants off, and set an eight year old kid on fire. "How would doing these actions help my situation?" you're probably asking. I can't hold your hand every step of the process. Sometimes, you need to figure out the next part of your plan yourselves. By the way, since this is a Tourette's thread, where the hell is KaySL, Sirin, and mercyFML at?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
Raddaya 3
Poor you :( This is an example of a true FML! PS I moderated this :D
cantthinkofawitt 0
As did I! And OP, sounds like a shirty situation!
denbeste 3
Moderate something better.
rallets 23
thats not what tourettes is...
mageoreh 0
#8 - go google tourettes
Drecodash 0
Yea right you know how that rash got there don't lie I saw 2 guys 1 jar!!
atomicJ 0
YouTube "tourretes guy-best of tourretes" haha
LolAtYourFail 12
that's not funny, I have tourrettes
SirEBC 7
Yeah, it's a serious condition in which-MOTHER ******* **** SUCKER! ...shit.
atomheartm_fml 0
Tourrette's not funny. Drugs aren't funny. Suicide ain't funny. Alcohol's bad, m'kay. Smoking kills. Fat people deserve respect. Sex is wrong before marriage, too.
colorfullyemo 4
calm the **** down. people have different senses of humor. Build a bridge & get over it.
hiphopchick7 1
and lots of other ppl are serious about certain things...in this ccase its tourrettes, so shut up
Vintage_Cola 29
#39 Now what will stupid high school kids laugh about now?
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Tourettes syndrome is a serious matter, this on the other-hand is not.
rawr_ily96 24
Oh yeah, so serious. A friend of mine who actually has it jokes about it all the time. He doesn't take it seriously.
allmidnighteyes 11
When you run out of toilet paper, just shower the dirty away :)
Jimboom 12
If people think you have tourettes then give em tourettes!
zowieandzander77 1
are you sure you didn't use bathroom cleaner wipes ... facial tissue doesn't have sanitizer in it.
kaylernes 0
puffs plus lotion is probably what op is talking about.
TheRealLori 0
Next time, check for paper before sitting down...and wash your booty when you're done. Just sayin. Rashes take a few minutes to develop...that's time enough to grab a wet paper towel, or cloth if you're at home.
saladfriends 0
#10, that's all well and good, you're right, it is smart to check for paper- but when you gotta go, you gotta go and sometimes there's just not time for the formalities!
epic13 12
I bet they were Jewish ants.
epic13 12
I bet it was a Jewish tissue.