Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML
Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
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Top comments
zowieandzander77 1
are you sure you didn't use bathroom cleaner wipes ... facial tissue doesn't have sanitizer in it.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
In this type of situation, you need to immediately crap your pants, take the pants off, and set an eight year old kid on fire. "How would doing these actions help my situation?" you're probably asking. I can't hold your hand every step of the process. Sometimes, you need to figure out the next part of your plan yourselves. By the way, since this is a Tourette's thread, where the hell is KaySL, Sirin, and mercyFML at?
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Comments (51)
underpaid011 0
you can always use the shower. the shower heads you hold in your hand have a great "wash your asshole stream of cleansing" setting. and when someone asks if you have Tourette's say "yes! DOUCHE BAG! PILE OF SHIT!!". Everyone will leave you alone.
allmidnighteyes 11
Having Tourrettes doesn't mean you curse unnecessarily all the time, it means you have motor/vocal tics that you can't control. Get your disorder information from somewhere other than Youtube.
tigrouficele2012 44
To add to that, the common stereotype of uncontrollable swearing is actually coprolalia, which only shows up in about 10% of people with Tourette's. Coprolalia is part of a group of subsets that someone with Tourette's or any other tic disorder may or may not possess, including palilalia (repeating oneself) and echolalia (repeating other people). At least, that's how I understand it; anyone with more technical knowledge can correct me if I'm wrong.
danishbagel 3
Someone did their Wikipedia research.
iNekoGamergurl 0
27 yeaaa... theres a guy in my math class with tourettes:( (palilalia: ex: so you use division?-division-di-di-division, division?)he shouts out random noises and flaps his arms.. sometimes he walks uncontrollably into walls ... poor anthony -.-
Philly_iz_Silly 0
if u had touretts they wouldnt ask you
sammyfon7 0
simple solution. gold bond
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
In this type of situation, you need to immediately crap your pants, take the pants off, and set an eight year old kid on fire. "How would doing these actions help my situation?" you're probably asking. I can't hold your hand every step of the process. Sometimes, you need to figure out the next part of your plan yourselves. By the way, since this is a Tourette's thread, where the hell is KaySL, Sirin, and mercyFML at?
perdix 31
Idiots! You clearly don't have Tourette's -- it's obviously ADHD: Asshole's Damn Hot Distress.
eternalsunlight 5
At least they would have been understanding if you did have tourettes.
twistedline 0
well obviously they did not know the backside of the story.
davek 36
"**** no I don't have cocking Tourette's you bunch of wankers!"
coryadam23 0
Wow, you should have stood up and acted as if you did just to make them feel like jerks. I vote you punch them in the face!
alexjane123 0
Everyone who says tourettes is ignorant (deprived of knowledge) because you should know that its tourette not tourettes and i would know because my sister has one of the worst cases in the country...also number 19 i highly doubt that you do not saying you dont but since you can;t even spell it leads me to believe u dont!
Watermelon2011 6
it's "can't" not "can;t". If you want to be a grammar Nazi do it right smart ass.
leahlolitaa 0
You can say both "Tourette" and "Tourette's". However, I have only heard "Tourette's." Sorry about your sister, but try not to be such a ******* douche.
tobabo101 0
seriously you need to get the **** over yourself, a lot of people with Tourette syndrome call it Tourettes , I myself do and I am ranked in the top 5 percentile of how bad my tics and co morbidities are and doctors ask me for my opinion on certain topics because as you should be aware Tourettes is not a very well known syndrome , I can sympathize with your sister but honestly you just sound like an attention seeker and an arse .