Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled, "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about how much of an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. After about 2 hours of non-stop bitching, it turns out she's actually dating him. FML
Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML
Today, I saw my ex best friend and my cheating ex-girlfriend hanging out at the gym, where I work. They signed up here just to piss me off. It's working. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
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Top comments
cheezball63 8
Damn that's cold
ninjala 10
Shitlord. I can't get over that title.
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Comments (79)
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Why don't you blame your BFF
thewife5 19
She does.. That is why best friend is in quotes.. You missed the point of the fml I think tho.
KiddNYC1O 22
You're right, he's a shitlord.
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
You shouldn't have dumped him. You shoulda just cheated on him with his BFF
thewife5 19
I do believe you haven't earned the fml logo as your photo just yet....
fliplover 8
I AM THE SHITLORD!!! Thou shalt have no other shitlords before me! But yeah. He definitely is a shitlord!!!!!!
Bloodangel4ever 14
Next time you run into him start crying and cowering, begging him not to hit you again. What a shitlord.
whyuacactus 4
you should've told him something back
doihaveto 6
wow what an asshole
PhishloverA 14
I busted out laughing for about a minute as soon as I saw "shitlord." The words people come up with on this site lmfao
cho_bee 9
Shitlord? LOL! I like that. You should start a blog!!!
Bludmagnus 13
The next time you see him, punch him in the nads as hard as you can, and cry over the abortion he forced you to have. That will teach him.