Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, we were meeting my husband's colleagues for dinner. I wore a dress which my husband had bought for me earlier this year. I was feeling good until he took one look and said, "Nope. Go change. It doesn't look good and appropriate for the dinner." I had to change. So much for trying to have some body positivity… FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walked out to the living room, and told my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He said no, then pretended to fall asleep. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
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Top comments
jiyong_fml 3
what a good man, you should keep him
attatood 8
When women want it, men are supposed to jump and when men want it, women can conveniently have a headache or something... is that it? Once again, it is all about the women...
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Comments (91)
nerdwithagun 0
Why do women think they are special or something? God forbid a man should approach his wife when HE'S in the mood, but if SHE'S in the mood? He'd better get it up then and there.
ame_franky 0
yea but at a time when she's trying to make it special he can't even try to be sweet?! how hurtful way to scar her. how is having a woman try as funny as a naked man walking in the room. girls are gorgeous men are funny. sorry
MradamLulz 0
^ your obviously a lesbian...
fearfulsymmetry 1
Oh god #23, I hope you're a troll. OP is going to be scarred because she was rejected? The her husband must be in therapy from all the time SHE'S rejected HIM. The sight of a naked man is funny? How old are you? And no, not every woman is gorgeous. I'm not going to revel in the sight of a naked 500lb woman. Grow up.
TheCass_ 3
23 seriously? how is a naked man funny?
damselchelle 4
#23 you better be ******* with us.
nerdwithagun 0
23......I think you should leave this site and never come back. Ha
Stepherrss 0
Haven't you ever heard of never interrupting a man and his television, god girl get a clue. haha kidding well thats sucks for you, my boyfriend has a way higher sex drive then me, and he most of the time is always in the mood, it's very rare if he isn't and usually when he wants it i don't, but sometimes i'll be nice and put how i'm feeling aside and help him :) then i end up feeling better. Sex never hurt anyone ... that is unless you fall off the bed or bang your head on the bed post. Ouch. :) Your either not hot enough for him or you interrupted his tv time, or he just didn't feel like it :) Nest time you want to spice it up, try it on a day where he wants it, instead of saying "im not in the mood or i have a headache" Just give in a give it a shot you might even feel better :D
BadMofeelius 0
Putting a comma after every thought will not solve your punctuation woes.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
ahahahahahahah
schalk 12
lashing out online at spelling/grammar mistakes one at a time will not solve the world's literacy problems
5t3ff1k4h 47
Lashing*, problems.* There. I did two at a time.
kathcduri 3
Did anyone else just thumbs-down this comment just because it was hella long and annoying looking?
Optimus_Primerib 0
I don't feel sorry for you I'm sure you turned him down a time or two.
BadKitty13 28
Hmmmmm Are you Fat and Ugly ? I'm sorry if you are.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I didn't realize "fat" and "ugly" were proper nouns.
BadKitty13 28
um they were descriptions.
5t3ff1k4h 47
*facepalm* Proper nouns are capitalized. My point was that there was no need to capitalize either of them.
fearfulsymmetry 1
OP, how many times have you turned down your husband when he was in the mood? Just because he has a penis does not mean he wants sex 24/7. A woman can turn down sex anytime she wants, but a guy can't do the same? Such a ridiculous double standard. I don't feel bad for you at all. I'm sure your husband could post countless FML's about you doing the same. I don't understand why some women think they're incredibly special and deserve attention/sex/love/whatever the minute they ask for it. Get over yourself.
anquilla 2
lol, what if her answer to your first question was none? I guess then the majority of your post would be useless.
chaos212 10
the probabilities in her post severely outweigh the probabilities in yours
fearfulsymmetry 1
60, even if the answer to the question is no, everything I said still stands. A man is perfectly allowed to say no to his wife/girlfriend/fiancee/etc if he's not in the mood. I don't understand why him not being in the mood is a FML. As I stated before, women(people in general, but I say women because the OP is a woman) don't deserve attention/love/sex the minute they ask for it.
TOPsCinderella 25
It's an FML because she was horny. It says nowhere in the post she expected him to bang, it just says that it sucks that her husband didn't want to when she did. I'm in the same situation a lot, and I never EXPECT my husband to fool around if he's not in the mood.
concrete_pink 0
OK, to all the male posters who seem to assume that OP has in the past rejected her husband's advances: How do you know? I've been in a three year relationship where I have never refused an opportunity for sex with my boyfriend. Some women actually have a sizable sexual appetite and the men they are with are not always able to satisfy it.
withasmile 3
I love the assumptions. Trust me, it's very rare that I refuse my guy. I think he's taking you for granted. That sucks. I'm sorry OP.
rasta_pasta 4
Because you're one woman while men have been with multiple women and come to a conclusion based on it happening on numerous occasions with various partners.
dkocz 0
women are the backbone of society. when you want it, you get it;D tell him that.
Zmeilerr 22
I don't wanna ****! I'm trying to watch golden girls!
yorik_brown 0
possibly the best comment on an FML post ever. lol. you win.
Belthazor_fml 5
OMG!! What the Hell is happening to the male population!? What WE want is secondary!!! If our women want sex, we PLEASE them!! Ladies ALWAYS come first!! LOL! Yes! Pun intended! You better please her or guess what? Somebody ELSE will.... SMDH....
veritoswty6 14
thank you.. ^_^
fearfulsymmetry 1
Seriously? You're pathetic.
sturk_fml 0
agreed 32!