Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
The art of seduction
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Snide git
Today, we were meeting my husband's colleagues for dinner. I wore a dress which my husband had bought for me earlier this year. I was feeling good until he took one look and said, "Nope. Go change. It doesn't look good and appropriate for the dinner." I had to change. So much for trying to have some body positivity… FML
Turn it off
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Expectations
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Dorito Man
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Be careful what you wish for…
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walked out to the living room, and told my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He said no, then pretended to fall asleep. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Top comments
jiyong_fml 3
what a good man, you should keep him
attatood 8
When women want it, men are supposed to jump and when men want it, women can conveniently have a headache or something... is that it? Once again, it is all about the women...
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Comments (91)
jiyong_fml 3
what a good man, you should keep him
kedaboo 0
one of the many reasons I don't want to get married...fyl
NailVarnishFan 0
Dump him like yesterday's trash! ^^
Sfaizi24 17
Wtf...this is her husband were talking about. All he did was not want to have sex. I don't consider this even an fml, let alone grounds to end a marriage. Freaking 13 yr olds giving relationship advice on the Internet.
KitchKraft 21
Well maybe it means that he didn't marry her as much for her looks but maybe for other reasons. Like ********.
Doortje 30
I guess lace doesn't turn him on. Or maybe you don't.
abceasyas123abc 12
Oh snap!
attatood 8
When women want it, men are supposed to jump and when men want it, women can conveniently have a headache or something... is that it? Once again, it is all about the women...
picklezz123 5
yes, yes it is (:
macskapingvin 0
Of course, the irony is that sex is a great painkiller, and would actually help with the problem of the headache.
alexFYL 11
The thing is, a lot of men will tell you that all you have to do is say you want sex, now... or just start jerking him off, or wear something sexy. I think it's a lot of talk (not a lot of men want to admit they're not always in the mood, perhaps it's some sort of Man Code that makes them feel like a lesser being). It's very frustrating. I'm a woman, with a much higher sex drive than most men I've met. Much like tv comedy shows where men start trying different things to get their wives in the mood (dinner, flowers, etc), I start trying different things, and each guy will say something different like "All you have to do is ____________" It ain't so. Men and women are sexually complex.
CrazyManNo9 29
I accept that challenge!
G15 0
Actually, the reason we do it is because we have to keep up the "man = sex hungry beast with a penis for a brain" image people (especially women) have bestowed upon us. If I'm not in the mood, I'll usually say it, but then she'll usually make some stereotypical comment about how guys are always in the mood...
5t3ff1k4h 47
In her defense, most guys -are- in the mood all the time, or at least anytime I want something (which is about average - not too much, not too little). Hell, it usually even goes beyond how much I want! I realize we're all human and we all have our "off" and "on" days, but there's just something about men coincidentally being in the mood 99% of the time.
LouieLZ 5
Agree with that. Wtf?! If they're in the mood and we aren't then they're pissed. If we're in the mood and they aren't, the STILL get pissed. FOL?
beeship321 5
It's like every 1 time a woman wants to it's 7 times for men. An unfair ratio to blast woman for having a headache after the thrud time this morning.
goaliemkl123 8
dude. it's ALWAYS about/up to/because/for/dependent on the women
MegamiKaosu 28
18 I agree I have a higher sex drive then my fiancé and he calls me annoying when I get horny and ask for attention but when he wants some thing I need to stop what I'm doing and pleasure him.
enoughgrace 4
I feel bad for that guy... he's missing out... I feel bad for that girl... she's missing out...
BloodyHeel 8
What was he watching on tv at the time?
RedPillSucks 33
This is exactly what I was thinking.
goaliemkl123 8
bet it was RENO 911. I love that show
anquilla 2
ahah me too!
reedyii 1
Never a problem in my house!! I'm always ready!
doctorr_fml 9
lol!
ulicksam 0
He was probably busy with something you're not telling us about and you wanted to see if you can control him. YDI.
Terezi 0
Nah, his other woman just tired him out.
emodude44 0
Stupid Ugly Texan *****
Bluepies 24
Because no woman has ever not been in the mood.
Nickolazx 0
Loooool