Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML
Today, my boyfriend flipped out when he saw a period tracker app on my phone. According to him, chicks only use those when they want to know when they’re the most fertile so they can “baby trap” a man. I have irregular cycles. The app helps me know when I should or shouldn’t expect a period. FML
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
What the hell? What have you done recently to put her under the impression that you're a prostitute? Other than this, because this doesn't seem like a good enough excuse.
OHnathanIO 4
If you have kids and they turned out like little ***** that's your own damn fault.
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Comments (137)
birdfreak 24
I have one of those. my friend saw it and said that seems useful. I should get it. and my mom said um do u really need it? she could care less about me having one.
XxTDxX 0
what's the app called lol maybe that's why she slapped you?
SteelCladAngel 0
iperiod period tracker stuff like that...
KYLAisaBITCH 4
the one I have is free but they have a premium one for $1.99 its like menstrual calendar. the icon is pink :)
realslimshawty 0
sounds like my mom...
staychill 16
wen I read the date prt I thot she was gonna call u a liar n say u nvr get a date. idk which one is worse tho
kai_ngo 0
Let me clarify: "When I read the date part, I thought she was going to call you a liar and say you could never go on a date. I don't know which one is worse though." In response: Both are horrible, dating isn't a bad thing, with parent monitoring that is, and physical and verbal abuse is unjust and uncalled for. Even if parents ban their children from dating, chances are they'll do so in secret. Trust me, I know.
brmgirl123 0
dirty *****! your parents shouldve used a condom!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Cramp makes you uncomfortable, as does the feeling of leaking blood. No one said anything about heavy periods, and why are you mentioning planned parenthood? It's only an FML...
goawaynowbye 1
Slapping and calling your own daughter names is never an appropriate parenting strategy. Of course, that was a really stupid reason that you gave. Mentioning the word date in relation to period tracking is of course going to make her think that you're having sex. A better answer would have been "So I can protect against period stains or so I know when I'm in PMS so I can control my emotions better." Think ahead before you speak next time, youngin. Also, just so you know for whenever you do start having sex, tracking your period will not prevent pregnancy and neither will having the guy pull out.
Keyman1212 14
I've gotta say, that pulling out and Plan B have prevented me from celebrating yesterday as a father.
amberita28 0
^Thumbs up. Smartest comment on this post.
goshpeople 4
Another reason: to know approximately when you'll start having terrible cramps (if you're one of the unlucky girls who gets them), so you can make sure you have painkillers available and not schedule anything important or strenuous on those days.
idunidas 0
Saying that tracking your period wont work is an outright lie. Doing it wrong can end up causing pregnancy but if a woman tracks her periods correctly pregnancy can be avoided entirely. Pulling out however is a crap shoot I'll give you that.
DjeePee 25
"but if a woman tracks her periods correctly pregnancy can be avoided entirely." Don't give people bad ideas. Just don't. There are always women out there who have tracked their period and can now show you their lovely baby.
sblylaw 0
condoms! :) or get the pill, works miracles. my guy still pulls out though. and we still use condoms sometimes.
EvanAGD 7
Haha give her a dirty tampon to prove it
samanthahadley 0
tracking your period is believable. so you're not uncomfortable on a date is not. I mean I wouldn't call you a prostitute, but it sounds like a lie to me. buy some midol.
DjeePee 25
"If you're having that heavy of periods or that much pain you need to see a doctor because that is not normal." Is it? I've known girls who had such terrible cramps that they rolled on the floor of pain. There is not one doctor who gave them a solution. So I have no idea whether it's normal or not. OP, you must admit that it was a crappy excuse. But she's a crappy mother. I don't know your age and I'm not interested in it, but even if you were having sex, she still has no reason to slap you and scold on you. Sex is no reason to become hysterical. A nice talk, that's something more effective.