Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML
Today, my boyfriend flipped out when he saw a period tracker app on my phone. According to him, chicks only use those when they want to know when they’re the most fertile so they can “baby trap” a man. I have irregular cycles. The app helps me know when I should or shouldn’t expect a period. FML
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
What the hell? What have you done recently to put her under the impression that you're a prostitute? Other than this, because this doesn't seem like a good enough excuse.
OHnathanIO 4
If you have kids and they turned out like little ***** that's your own damn fault.
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Comments (137)
Keyman1212 14
Geez, y'all are all freaking out. Sure, the mother over reacted. But I bet she cares about her, and gives a damn about her child. Report her for abuse? Jesus, do parents not spank or paddle their children anymore, instead reward bad behavior? Those are the parents you need to be bitching out. What has this world come to...
RaaabbleRabble 0
OP said her mother slapped her, which is not at all in the same ballpark as spanking. Slapping someone is extremely demeaning, and OPs mom had absolutely no reason to do so. Parents SHOULD discipline their children, but slapping your son or daughter is only going to cause more problems and possibly emotional trauma.
dudeitsdanny 10
There's an age limit on corporal punishment. Slapping is always wrong.. Especially slapping your kid. Adding the demeaning words makes it even worse. But spanking a 15 year old? Call me naïve, but that's simply wrong. If she's old enough to reproduce, she's too old for corporal punishments. Not just that, but punishing someone for tracking her period is simply ridiculous. If you don't believe her, you talk to her. You don't punish her for wanting to know more accurately when her period is.
mikuxxhatsune 32
My mother used to hit me usually on the hand up until I was about 11 and start ed to actually behave maturely and understand. But slapping is very different to a smack on your hand/butt.
RyanX92 0
it's reasonable to think if your tracking your own period it's not that farfetched
kingdomgirl94 29
no uterus, no opinion.
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
OP, next time your Mom rights a note on a calender or a reminder on a post-it.. slap her in the face and accuse her of cheating on your father... what goes around comes around you bitch!
rocketeer_97 1
Your period shouldnt be uncomfortable during a movie. Maybe cramps, but you can take some medicine to help you out with that.
seventothanine 5
Cramping isn't the only source of pain and irritation. Plenty of women get bloated and gassy during their monthly torture session and find COMFORT by lying down in sweats at home, a fart-forgiveness zone. Besides, bleeding down there makes one quite paranoid of staining, especially if sitting down for hours. Only the criminally insane would be comfortable throwing methane grenades in a room packed with strangers and parading a marinara ass around in public.
ReynshineCutting 10
Like seven said, there's more to being uncomfortable than just cramps. And not all people can get rid of cramps with medicine. I used to have to take vicodin that my mom in law or stepmom would give me since my doctor refused to write me a prescription. It would only take the edge off and I'd still be in excruciating pain.
xNephilim 19
When my period is bad enough, I get the sweats, I get lightheaded, cramps from hell that only about 10-15 Advil/Tylenol can fix, gas, digestive issues, heat flashes, cold flashes, cold flashes mixed with the sweats, an icky feeling, irritability, and the list goes on. Medication, at least over the counter stuff, won't fix about all of those.
onecutechick101 0
haha I have this app!!!
ScuseMePrincess 2
YDI for being a dirty prostitute and a liar. Mother knows best.
knocking 0
Just admit it. You got it to know when you shouldn't go on a date, not because you were worried about being uncomfortable during a movie, but because you didn't want to waste time going on a date because you couldn't have sex. If you were telling the trutg, I feel bad for you. Not only does your mother have a low opinion of you, you must have horrific cramps or something if you can't go to a movie when you have your period.
Bams430 0
Ofcourse she is telling the truth after all her name is still a virgin lol
bh173 0
lol you don't even know the OP. if you're not a chick then you wouldn't realize you'd have to get up during the movie and change your tampon. so **** off
Bams430 0
They have apps for that???
birdfreak 24
course! there's an app for everything haven't you heard??
huntermc7 0
Your mom is hardcore..
bambootay 0
hey it's a very useful app! lol that way you know when it's "shark week" ;)