Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML
Today, my boyfriend flipped out when he saw a period tracker app on my phone. According to him, chicks only use those when they want to know when they’re the most fertile so they can “baby trap” a man. I have irregular cycles. The app helps me know when I should or shouldn’t expect a period. FML
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
What the hell? What have you done recently to put her under the impression that you're a prostitute? Other than this, because this doesn't seem like a good enough excuse.
OHnathanIO 4
If you have kids and they turned out like little ***** that's your own damn fault.
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Comments (137)
nissanman_fml 16
I'd have a hard time believing you too, OP, if you came up with a ridiculous answer like that one.
stephanyk2 7
that's a awesome car in your picture.
nissanman_fml 16
Absolutely!
HopeeBB 8
it isn't ridiculous! a common answer from a man!
Keyman1212 14
Boy #27, you're really playing the gender card here. I bet you're all for equal rights for women, and at the same time you think all men are pigs, yet at the same time expect men to treat you like a queen. Double standards are tricky dear...
nissanman_fml 16
No need to get up in arms, 27. It's only the Internet. Please take yourself and go crawl back into your little feminist hole, where you belong.
zombiekitten87 12
I can see what the op is saying and I know what she means, I won't get into the horrifying details, but that's still a weird, lame excuse to give...
amberita28 0
Yeah it is! Why couldn't she just say, so I could know when to pack a tampon/pad in my purse! simple as that! Her excuse sounded ridiculous!
RaaabbleRabble 0
did you ever consider that maybe OP was talking about starting her period while at the movie theater? Shit happens sometimes, and it's better to be prepared. And I can't speak for her, but I'm thinking that 27 was talking about since you're a man, you really can't know what it's like being on your period. Just sayin'.
murlocholmes 5
Nissanman would that happen to be a Skyline in your picture?
Complaining 13
It seems like she's on her period.
dain_bramage 5
wow....there is an app for everything...
hollylollyxoxo 0
wow period trackers aren't anything new...
mariazzz 5
the app is pretty cool though...
richard121212 0
no period trackers aren't new, but reeeaaallllyyy?!
rainin_menn 0
kind of harsh...**** HER!!(; it's all about yer dad..well yesterday was
pepelapew 0
rihanna licks balls
laxitup41 0
that's horrible
1215116a 14
She's got high expectations for you.
portablecupid 3
What the ****? Your mom has some issues. You could probably report her for assault/abuse.
kut19 6
admit it: you're tracking your period so you know when not to go to the bone zone.
pinkspaceboundro 0
oh my! well ur answer was kinda weird...
HopeeBB 8
Mom's are bitches! they get pissed at you for telling the truth and never trust you!
User1518 6
Thank you!!! I completely agree!!!
kai_ngo 0
Agreed, wish they would stop overreacting to everything and always having trust issues.
vegan_muffin 5
I dunno, I agree it was an overreaction, but it does sound kinda sketchy. Pads and tampons generally last 4-8 hours, and the longest movies are around 3. Shouldn't have too much to worry about.
SteelCladAngel 0
heavy bleeding....unexpected bleeding onset of cramps so bad you feel like someone has stabbed you in the uterus with rusty knives... simple prevention can fix that aspirin, Tylenol or motrin use for a day before your period starts can prevent cramps knowing what day you'll start so you can have stuff ready.
mikuxxhatsune 32
Or when you place your pad badly and/or sit in a position and your pad moves then you could have a leak. It is just better to generally choose another day where you can wear that cute white skirt you wanted to wear.