Anonymous
Seattle, United States
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
WOWBear
Mesa, United States
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
Diane
Toronto, Canada
Classic
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
human lava lamp
New Britain, United States
Foiled
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
lonelynessinCA
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Jackie
United States
Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML
WTFiswrongwithme
Desperate times, desperate, dumb measures
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Kris
India
Not very neighborly
Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML
Cob
United States
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
my back hurts
Campbelltown, Australia
**** off!
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Top comments
adam3650 12
Good God. They're evolving.
yukumariooo 11
Pretended to be deaf, end up looking dumb... Sounds about fair.
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Comments (136)
CMC_LOVES_MGM 19
Why didn't you just tell the man thank you, but I am not interested?or you could have said you didn't have the money. I tell telemarketers all the time, I'm a college student with thousands in debt, I can't afford it; have a nice day.
SweetasCandy0609 28
instead of just telling them no I'm not interested you pretend to be deaf, wow that's messed up OP no sympathy here for you that's just wrong on every level.
DorklyComicFan 8
I used to go door to door selling newspaper subscriptions. It was always weird suddenly trying to sell something to someone I just met. A simple, "No, thanks" and I was happy to move right along. I'm nearly positive that the few subscriptions I sold were because people had pity on me.
Espolax 8
Maybe he was pretending to know sign language because he knew you weren't actually deaf
hessel 13
haha i normally try to sale them an old lamp or something when they come to my door
benmec 18
If going deaf fails, you go into retard-o mode. Start twitching your head & peel back your teeth.... Easy!!! :)
Kristoffer 35
Whatever happened to telling someone honestly that you're not interested in their wares? Why have we resorted to subterfuge and trickery to try and get them to leave? Is it still not effective to say, "sorry, not interested" and if they persist, to say "leave now, you're trespassing"? Can you not still call the police and have them arrested if they fail to comply?
Beepbeep7 14
Kudos for trying.
iAmLauRawr 10
I swear someone posted this FML before.
peacejunior 12
Did you know sign language is not universal? There are different signs for the same word in my language.