Today, I popped two tires hitting a curb. I called my dad hysterical, and he told me to call my mom and hung up. My mom's been dead for seven years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my dad is such an asshole, he pulled out into traffic because he was too impatient to wait, which is how we ended up in the middle of a funeral for 5 miles, right behind the hearse. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and now I have 87 missed calls from her, and I’m too scared to answer. FML
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
unsun 13
Wtf is wrong with your dad?
justcommenting19 19
AAA is very helpful. Sorry that your dads an idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
unsun 13
Wtf is wrong with your dad?
cakefete2 31
He's been mixing dad jokes with black magic. Unfortunately, there is no turning back from this dark road.
spacefish966 18
Seriously what a ****** up thing to say
mds9986 24
Call up the insurance and they will send somebody to help.
justcommenting19 19
AAA is very helpful. Sorry that your dads an idiot.
moodyreallyrocks 27
Sorry for your loss OP. Hope everything's going well..
lexred 30
Ur dad is mentally unstable.
pd2902 22
All you can do is call the break down people, sorry your dad was no help :(
GAeroNKissR 26
the break down people??
Colon_Man 17
You don't want them. Call the fixer upper guy.
slowlearner 14
mom you don't know about...may be?
lexred 30
OP is talking something quite serious...and there's no need to make fun of his/her dead mum by blaming his father of ******* around. Be a little sensitive and a little human.
Xamry14 10
I think it may have been a legitimate suggestion. What if the dad is seeing someone and that's the way of breaking it to her and expecting her to call her "mom" Dads an asshole either way.
why57why 21
Jeeze did he forget or something? Lol that sucks OP hopefully you'll get the new tires soon and without much hassle
Chloe555_fml 27
Call him back and ask if he has a ouiji board.
paginis 8
He'd probably tell OP to ask mom.
cheshireau 26
Insensitive twat.