Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
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Top comments
earljonez 22
You gotta be careful with those parked cars, they can be vicious.....
stevenJB 25
Was it a Chevy? I'm sure you startled it too and it broke down right then and there.
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Comments (19)
abNormal62 23
Probably time for an oil change then for both of you
somedudesomewher 29
Hmmm... Maybe parked cars should be an addition to this years Halloween themes.
SomeRandomUser 19
"I was walking, minding my own business. And I turned the corner and saw a car! It was just parked there, you know, looking so freaky."
rodrigun449 16
It's ok, you knew that deep down, it was a Decepticon, and your Autobot instincts were just kicking in.
RaNdOmIzEd2017 14
It was just... standing there... MENACINGLY!!
PhoenixChick 26
To be fair, a car dressed like a clown and holding a machete would scare anyone.
tigeresscrazy 12
That happened to a friend of mine when someone snuck up behind her last Halloween night I got startled by my reflection in the window didn't pee myself but still felt really foolish
Catdragon 40
This sounds similar to what happened to me, except I didn't piss myself. I was turning at an intersection when in the reflection of the mirror I saw a moving car going at an alarming speed and somehow my brain derped out and thought it was coming from the opposite direction of the intersection. I nearly had a heart attack