Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, while driving the 45 minutes to work, I let out some gas, only to arrive at work and realize I'd sharted. I couldn’t tell because my seat heater was on. FML
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Top comments
superjew 8
Sorry about your shitty luck bro
bleachedraven 14
🤣😱Sounds uncomfortable...hope you were able to get everything clean.
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Comments (3)
bleachedraven 14
🤣😱Sounds uncomfortable...hope you were able to get everything clean.
Warp1978 15
NEVER . EVER. TRUST A FART. Seriously never.
superjew 8
Sorry about your shitty luck bro