Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
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Top comments
ActionFearo 39
It'd probably be best if you jumped in after it.
pizzzah 9
how does a bullet even feel like a rock
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Comments (141)
ActionFearo 39
It'd probably be best if you jumped in after it.
Wakachulak 22
If that was my student, I would make him. Whether he can swim or not is inconsequential.
R3TROxLOV3 32
If you did that and they were injured in anyway, you could expect to be sued and possibly fired.
Rainhawk94 27
Pretty sure he was joking #26, calm down
Kamon97 23
Failing his smart ass would probably help
GuiLD15 7
#27 you say that as if she's worked up
DaMann360 19
If you find the bullet, you'll also find your name written on the side of it
izzie321 27
I think this FML needs a follow up.
pizzzah 9
how does a bullet even feel like a rock
_ashole 10
Op probably had both in one hand. Needless to say op was being careless. Oh well.
equitationbound 22
Bullets are pretty heavy, especially the older ones. As for texture, rocks can be pretty smooth too. Regardless, OP must've had one in each hand, like #8 said.
GraceyBlueEyes 13
That's not quite what #8 said.
TheCrispyCat 20
I have some Civil War bullets: they feel like light stones.
tacojauns 45
I actually have a civil war era bullet, it's not as weird as you think it weights about the same as a small rock and if you Google civil war bullet they even kind of look like rocks
Volcan_fml 22
It's like when you put the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge.
Saywat145 17
When holding two things in two different hands I often confuse the two. I could be holding my phone and a butter knife with butter on it and after being distracted would try to butter bread with my phone. Regardless of size or shape. Hopefully OP was able to get the bullet back.
dachayke 16
#71: or when you lick the basketball and throw the ice cream in the hoop. *sigh*...
cleopad1 3
Why is #12 down voted?? There aren't any grammatical mistakes and she's saying the same thing everyone else did. This community.... Dx
kaffeeine 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
butterfingers!
illegalbeagle69 23
Nobody better lay a finger on my butterfingers.
fleckney26 25
Not quite sure why this got so many dislikes?
Jazzy9999 19
#54 because it had nothing to do with the FML
AnAfterImage 7
#58 Actually it has everything TO do with it, it's not just a candy bar. From Google: butterfingers 1. a clumsy person, especially one who fails to hold a catch.
AFCCT 7
Except he didn't fail to hold a catch. He had it in his hands and threw it. Butterfingers is irrelevant.
Jazzy9999 19
62, I'm well aware of the definition. But much like 76 said, where does it say he failed to catch something
arturo_s 10
Butterfingers refers to when someone is clumsy, OP isn't clumsy, just retarded
Danne696 14
Does "a clumsy person" aply or not?
nerevarine94 12
Butterfingers!
Stitcher 14
how did you talk your way out of that one. YDI
kjack49044 18
He just passed the rock to the person next to him. They get blamed. The end.
JMichael 26
Easy, he pretended the teacher was a rock and threw her in the pond.
threer 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When did the teacher become a female, if I may ask?
JMichael 26
Fine 72. Threw HIM into the pond. Happy now?
bfsd42 20
84, why are you assuming the teacher is male?
Spyderbane 10
The androgynous teaching vessel was identified as a rock and tossed in the water.
alphabetta 23
Why are you referring to the teacher as an object?
jsp16 24
He didn't talk his way out of it, because the teacher shot him with an "Obama Age" bullet.
Ihavegas 22
pay attention
lux0rd 18
I hope she made you jump in after it.
woainishamu 21
Did you say "oh shoot?!"
rdenkewicz 11
Not like they could. They don't have bullets anymore!
lysx84 24
Maybe OP should have been paying attention rather than throwing rocks in the first place.
edvin_fml 10
as I hovered my pointer around the page, I accidentally clicked 'You deserved it'... I was looking for the facepalm button
Crofty92 17
Pretend you never got it and blame it on the kid before you.
gracehi 33
Dick move, man. Dick move.
Spyderbane 10
or take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming someone else.
cakefete2 31
If all else fails, Ebay.