Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, in a market, an old lady stood beside me for a few moments, not saying a word, before turning to me and screaming that I'd taken the money out of her purse. Security was called and I was given the ultimatum to either go to jail or give her the money back. Now I have no food for next week. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
resinnet 0
wow, unlucky much.
10_4Franky 0
Bring your own lunch. School food sucks anyways. You would if lost your money both ways.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
resinnet 0
wow, unlucky much.
MissErikaHart 0
b a lil more careful with ur money
sonnet 0
Just wait for karma to strike:)
sonnet 0
Just wait for karma to strike:)
ChrisSG 0
don't worry, she will depart sooner than you, OP..
5t3ff1k4h 47
'B', 'lil', and 'ur' aren't words, Erika. Better start listening in English class.
TheWhiteDemon 0
yes, lets get on fml and comment on every grammatical and spelling error
betty66 3
agreed, grammar nazi STFU! No one cares...except you because you have no life
5t3ff1k4h 47
79 - Really? I have no life. I don't know where you get off saying that, since you know absolutely nothing about me.
moofin123456 0
You don't really know much about them either. Just saying.
rallets 23
BOOO gramm3r nazi!! :P lol
foxy1222 0
see kids don't get treated with the respect we want so sorry op fml.
5t3ff1k4h 47
85- I never claimed to. 87- Grammar*
rallets 23
booooooooo go home!!! o_O
Astroman129 7
Hey, I care. Without grammar, you might as well say goodbye to any possible chance of getting a job.
JuliaM1000 10
...I'm Jewish... Op, looks like you have had a poopy day , but get some ice cream and watch a movie. And make it chocolate. ;)
Astroman129 7
^ I'm also Jewish. So?
gasbreakdipdip 0
let's face it princess if your arguing in fml you don't have a life
betty66 3
well guess what, I do have a job :)
5t3ff1k4h 47
96 - So do I. Your point being?
betty66 3
I was replying to the Jewish guy lol, not you
5t3ff1k4h 47
Then type the number of who you're replying to.
betty66 3
god.. just.. stop
_TONGAN_ 5
#101 you have just proven that you have no life by replying to all of these comments within like 2-3 hours
5t3ff1k4h 47
No, that actually doesn't prove I have no life. It proves I'm stuck at home tonight because I had a few assignments to work on. The assignments were to be typed, and my msn is on, so the email notifications pop up. I answer them when I get around to them. Nice try, though. I did manage to get two full assignments done.
FarSide 23
If it were my money, the only thing striking would have been a coconut upside her head.
YourEvilHero 12
grammar Nazi is snickerdoodles!
RTRbryant 0
old ladies they followin u around, snatchin yo money up
steeledwolf 8
conflict is funny at times
horizon6661 0
93 - how is op supposed to buy an ice cream? the wallet just got stolen :O
victoria329 0
if it were me, I wouldve filed a charge against the officer and the old lady... the old lady for stealing and the officer for discrimination against age.
Annihilator 0
What did you learn today?
6969awesome 0
that old people suck and should be put down?
MissErikaHart 0
that i can't wait to b old!
anorexicbarbie 8
That old people should be thrown into a fire?
Smeagol648 0
That old people can kick ass!
whyme203 15
30- your picture is really funny and op that sucks but she will get hers one day
Annihilator 0
That's right! They should be avoided at all times, especially when you're carrying cash. I bet the old hag that stole your money has had bad experience with teens. She makes up for it by stealing because she knows she won't get caught! There're multiplying around the world. It's becoming worse, lol!
Shivermeshamrock 0
Soylent green anyone?
yomomasmoma 0
that any1 over 50 should be thrown into a shark pool?
farkie3 8
I learned that old people can get away with anything, that sponges can take baths, and that penguins are not native to Wyoming; just their zoos.
Ibethegotaids 0
That the old lady was a bitch
10_4Franky 0
Bring your own lunch. School food sucks anyways. You would if lost your money both ways.
iGrenade 0
some grannies are saggy *****.
H8rSk8r 0
most grannys have a soggy ****. I would know.
jordansabeast23 4
lol thts bad haha
tweetygirl28 2
She probably needs it more then you so shame on your or being selfish and wanting to eat.
Mehness 0
Fail troll is fail?
lgd921 0
**** you. old bitchs are bitchs :o
Zambataro 0
what r u talking about shame on him it's his Money he needs to eat dumbass
JuliaM1000 10
I honestly think 4 was joking
004savage 0
i honestly think I would have punched her lights out :| I'm very protective of my food :|
xxzRAMBOzxx 0
are you kiddin? old people are lame and selfish. what does she need it for? buying tampons her dried up uterus doesn't need?
aerosenna 0
4 is the saggy old bitch who took the OP's money!! everyone club her to death !!
thinkinboutyou12 0
hmmmm...sarcastic, much??
Jmgonzo 10
Wow this guy really pissed people off. If it got this many replies I would definitely say it was a successful troll
Filitov 0
Bum lunch off of your friends for the day & then just bring lunch the rest of the week. Unless your school is renowned for the quality of Cafeteria food, you won't be missing much.
theCamelCaseMan 0
You are dividing by zero my good sir!
robin1715 0
You should of just smacked that hoe and took your money back.
cheapluxury 4
Smack the cop too! :)
DocBastard 40
should have *
Smeagol648 0
Mean ol' lady! D:
MissErikaHart 0
these days....? lol you've haven't been around long enough to b familiarized with anything from "back in the day"
Rokksteady 3
What a bitch!
xxcrayonsxx 0
agreed
ken328 0
That is effed up.