Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
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Top comments
eltapatio16 5
You deserve an apology.
SlimShady167 3
Psh, what a dumb bitch. FYL
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Comments (217)
Enrique34 0
wow I can't believe all that crap happend....fyl
CityCunt 0
Ungrateful bitch!
ACM1991 9
Mind your own shi*t
PinkFun1969 9
press charges against her
justinj360 0
dude. that's not right
FliPsliCE 3
As a lawyer, let me give you some advice- don't help anyone! If someone is in trouble and you don't help them then nothing can happen to you. However if you attempt to help and make the situation worse then you may be found negligent and may be sued. Do not help anyone.
Rickington 2
What about the good samaritan laws (in the US ... for first responders)?
kiakia0131 23
I *think* the Good Samaritan Law applies only if you give an injured person medical care until medics arrive at the scene. I think it means you can't be sued for negligence unless you intentionally kill them or make their injuries worse. It's a bit complicated, but that's pretty much what I was told in my Intro to Criminal Justice class. I'm not 100% sure if I interpreted that correctly though.
4ugu4 7
Next time try screaming she forgot it then getting near that old bitch.
melonsisback 6
Hit her back? She owes you something
catharsis5 9
Sad that the world we live in makes people think the worst of others. Don't worry OP, if you return my wallet I'll treat you to some ice cream.
Niedermayer_20 12
just ******* beautiful