Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
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Top comments
eltapatio16 5
You deserve an apology.
SlimShady167 3
Psh, what a dumb bitch. FYL
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Comments (217)
neuf77 1
charge her with assult if she doesnt say sorry!!!!
i_am_that_one 0
Next time don't do a good deed I guess... At least not when u have a sprained ankle.
SPD935 5
Ha. Classic.
un0m3 14
You should of kept the wallet
Shadow_Phantom 26
People are stupid... and apparently paranoid. She's also probably the type of person who doesn't think they can do anything wrong. Oh NO it COULDN'T have been her fault the wallet was on the ground. Nope, someone stole it and ran after her, JUST to hand it back untouched. /sarcasm FYL.
blondieblue33 2
You must be so proud of your precinct!
vbmg152 19
Yeah! I found a lady's wallet a few months ago, it was full of credit cards but, no cash! I come home go thru the wallet trying to find her phone number, go through the phone book, calling numbers after about an hour, I got her on the phone. She came and picked up her wallet & left! No thank you, nothing and she knew how much trouble I went through to find her! I didn't want money, a thank you would've been nice though! Being nice gets you nowhere these days! I feel your pain, OP!
melonsisback 6
People suck bro, but you know you did good
brianjman14 23
Yes, because a person who just stole something would run TOWARD the person they just stole from. She's an idiot.
noobcake111 2
hmmm hard way to solve that
TheyCallMeZ 0
learn your lesson? just keep it next time