Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
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Top comments
eltapatio16 5
You deserve an apology.
SlimShady167 3
Psh, what a dumb bitch. FYL
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Comments (217)
mitri_fml 3
Steal it next time?
EnEl_Infierno 15
I don't see a problem with that run up the cards, fill your gas tank, treat yourself to a few nice things, once she reports the cards as lost or stolen the bank won't fault her and she won't have to pay for those charges, but remember to drop the rest of the wallet in a mailbox from the Id they'll send it back to her incase she has important papers in their.
EnEl_Infierno 15
damit my comment was supposed to be under #9
EnEl_Infierno 15
Why must you keep playing with our minds fml apps? *holds head out of frustration, to late head explodes*
baseballplaya5 7
Take her to court
Prolusive 5
"No good deed goes unpunished." -Murphy
DKjazz 20
*Sports star Charles Barkley
Youdrongo 0
*Google
rexgar2000 10
*yahoo
bratprince 0
Altavista*
MrSexyPants 14
What a bitch. She should just appreciate that she got it back and shut up. I hope the day after was amazing for you, if karma works.
KellyIsTheBest32 12
Sounds like that commercial..
Lei_Aili 18
That sucks. Can't even do anything nice for people anymore without them assuming the worst.
BbqKirbyAnn 0
Hope for the best and expect the worst. Never be disappointed.
Dante17 6
She's a stuck up bitch that doesn't deserve having guardians like u buddy... Next time she losses it, it's gonna be a total lost cuz no one will do it again...
dcg1375 7
Learn how to spell. It's loses and loss. Not losses and lost. What you said doesn't make any sense.
2ndSucks 15
Good deeds never go unpunished. Didn't you know?
yadisingh 5
Well, 347 other comments said the same thing. I'm pretty sure OP got it.
Ikushka 3
Damn that sucks, be happy you did a good thing, that bitch will get what she deserves
superjewwwwww 0
That's why you don't do good things. Society sickens me sometimes