Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML
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Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
i think you just saved yourself some hassle if she's into guys that puke
seabass32 0
'in love' is a pretty strong phrase to use on a girl you basically just have a 'big crush' on. and your life isn't ******, she must have low self esteem or some other issues that would compell her to fall in love with a stranger at a party that threw up all over someone elses house. i'd say good for you, you don't have to deal with her stupidity and you actually get to move on and find a girl with some self worth.
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Comments (22)
Timmytwofinger 0
i think you just saved yourself some hassle if she's into guys that puke
Reyo 2
Don't you know that it's a cardinal rule that you never let your friends bring extra guys to a party that you're throwing to hook up with someone?
twirlingqueen4u 0
that sucks good for the unknown mate though
observesandgasps 0
******* you 14 y/olds need to ficking stop saying love. you ain't seem shit at 14 so stfu
natsaysheyyy 16
Well, she has poor standards then. You can do better.
usn4 0
u deserved it
Victor_90 0
if you've liked her for years then u deserve it for not doing anything in those YEARS
lifesuckseggs 0
aww c'mon #2, people just start the FML with "Today" So that it gets posted up...
leadninja 0
hold on.. i counted 3 guys and 1 girl......
24788 7
She had to choose someone.
24788 7
My bad
Nacirema20 0
wat a ******* ass! :-( FYL.
viral_fml 0
#2 & #5, to get past moderation it needs to start with 'Today'. Also, op shouldve made a move earlier. :3
JabezRodriguez 0
that's.bullcrap...FYL