Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML
Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I asked if my friend wanted to come meet my dog and give him a treat. We were walking to my back yard, her holding 3 hot dogs, when she said, "I think your dog is dead!" I said, "No, he's just old and sleeps all the time and won't wake up until you pet him because he's deaf." He was dead. FML
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
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Top comments
BritishHobo 0
SHIT.
wickeddrummajor 0
poor puppy
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Comments (194)
hobos_R_us 0
wow... If that was intentional which I hope it wasn't she has some issues. But if she didn't then she's an idiot and you should NEVER EVER do that to a dog
GodsOfWrath 0
I did that to my girlfriend last June. Except I was clever enough to cut it up and put it in her macaroni. You shoulda seen the look on her face.
13713713 0
#52 you are a disgusting sick person, who the hell would cut up an animal and mix it in with macaroni and serve it to their girlfriend !! thats some serial killer shit !
Kofu 0
I'm pretty sure he's kidding, dumb ass. Oh, and OP, damn. That's harsh. Now, you should have a taxidermist stuff it, and give the lifeless thing that would have been your pet back to your girlfriend.
Alphabetica 0
Oh as if you believed it v_v
Bright_Lights 14
Oh dear, learn to lighten up and realise when people are joking? God, what has the world come to :|
13713713 0
The only Dumb ass is the one who can make twisted jokes like that !!
GodsOfWrath 0
YEAH, 4 AGAINST 1 DUDE. IT'S NOT LIKE I ATE THE DOG MYSELF. BESIDES, YOU'RE MISSING THE HUMOR: IT'S FUNNY CAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND WAS A VEGITERIAN!!
bipolaradhdfml 0
Its funny... because its true.
kitten1504 0
it could have been worse, it could have been a dead baby.
GodsOfWrath 0
Why is that worse?? Do babies taste worse than dogs?
valekseye 0
how do "twisted" jokes make one dumb?
Bloodknight 22
OMG... that's horrible...
roflcobra 4
Alright, assuming that she meant to give you a live puppy (you don't seem like Michael Vick's type), you have just gotten a 'get out of stupid free' card. From this point on whenever you forget an anniversary, or call her the wrong name in bed, or whatever else you can dream up you can just remind her that she once gave you a dead dog and there's no way she'll be able to yell at you. And yeah, poor little guy.
commonusername 4
send it back DOA
Ranoona 0
poor puppy :( I hope she didn't kill it on purpose.
GallopingGreys 0
Animals should not be given as gifts. Usually they are purchased from BYB or Pet Stores (who get animals from BYB), are unhealthy with health defects, and support animal cruelty. People keep the pet for a month, then get tired of it and drop it off at a shelter. Or in your case, dead on your doorstep.
lem0n_fml 0
Unhealthy AND with health defects, eh? Hm. Strange.
cs26 0
Not even unhealthy and with health defects. Unhealthy WITH health defects. I agree, so unusual.... ;]
lem0n_fml 0
My guess is #58 is unhealthy with repetitivitis.
Chasted 0
Did it work?
darkmis1 18
Awwwwwww :-( That poor puppy! I hope she didn't intentionally kill it.
clockworkrainbow 3
Oh God! That's terrible. I thought the roasted bunny was bad but... That poor puppy. That's just awful.. I'm actually tearing up a bit. ;~;