Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML
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Top comments
masturdad 11
The fact he needs a bedpan shows that he's too old to grope anything
foxwasalamb 24
he wants his action and wants it now dammit!
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Comments (76)
neonglostix 28
I read "parents" instead of "patients" and it made this FML so much worse! 0.o
JME0058 8
I'm sorry op. Sometimes being a cna sucks. Tonight I had one of my residents draw blood from my arm with her talon like nails.
stanley15 12
Been there. it blows.
aruden 25
aww the bright side of being old sexual assault and normal assault all this guy is missing is a few racist comments then the trifecta would be complete
Jakob2255 12
next time tell the patient if they don't have 20's ready they need to stop
schhichick 14
I would be pissed
DanielleinDC 34
Problem patient here. You should let your supervisor know, if you haven't already. Hopefully they can rejigger the assignments so you don't have to deal with this creepy old GOMER.
PurelyCanadian 18
Sounds like he was pissed off.
KingLewisII 34
Seems like the old man modified the how to handle your problems like a dog, if you can't play with it or eat it (throw) pee on it then walk away.
darthpeaches 14
The life of a nurse, lol. That's why I choose emergency medicine.