Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML
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Top comments
masturdad 11
The fact he needs a bedpan shows that he's too old to grope anything
foxwasalamb 24
he wants his action and wants it now dammit!
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Comments (76)
Nimmrodel 11
That's pretty nasty, just because they're old doesn't mean they can get away with doing that stuff.
Pwib 14
Sick of his shit.
chidexy 21
Damn.......
AlaskanG 27
Really? That's all you could come up with?
brivielle 15
damn right....
CowTippingDwarfs 21
I can only picture the old guy in the movie Waiting.
zandalee 20
I salute you OP. Your job is so hard, demanding, and degrading and the pay usually sucks.
Mimical 3
Last time I checked working as a health care assistant or Lpn pays really well at least in Canada it does 24-32$ an hr as hca. Lpns can make 40-60$
zandalee 20
In NZ you get paid $13 - $15 an hour!! My daughter works in health care.
MrsHaxxo 22
I wonder what he was groping, because your gender is not displayed
RedPillSucks 33
Does OPs gender really matter? Either way, it's unwanted contact. Old or not, male or female, boundaries ought to be respected.
MrsHaxxo 22
yes you are right. I was just trying to imagine it :p
Sandsh8rk 36
Why do hard-working people like you cop all of the shit from their patients, you don't deserve that :(
ibanghellokitty 8
Because they work longer hours... :(
ArmyDoc 11
Good bowel movements, sexual interest, and getting strength back too. Sounds like he's doing well! Always a silver lining. (:
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
Well enough to GTFO, I would hope
xathenax 6
This is only funny on Wednesdays
dawood_k 27
Give the patient some satisfaction towards their ending!!! Put it out there.